Until Christmas
by blueball
Summary: It rains, Sasori is wet and Deidara just happen to drive by. They fall in love and then... they have to find a way to stay together forever.
1. Chapter 1

It's night time, around ten or eleven, and I'm out walking. In the rain. This because my stupid grandmother wanted eggs for breakfast tomorrow (classic thing to go buy, huh?). It's also blowing a lot, or at least enough for umbrellas to blow away if you try using one, which is, pretty much, why I'm wet from head to toe already. It didn't blow this much earlier and I did have an umbrella, but, as said, it's blowing very much right now, and it blew away fifteen minutes ago.

I live with my grandmother at the moment, not because I don't have any parents or anything (I actually don't, but I live with my uncle and his three children in another town), I just tend to visit her now and then.

Sighing, I wipe away the water on my face for one too many times this night. I also find myself wishing that the old hag didn't live so far away from the damned downtown; two miles is a bit too far in my opinion (I took the bus to get downtown).

I could've gotten a taxi to drive me back up, but I don't have enough money left, and from my experience these taxi drivers always smells like smoke.

Suddenly a car drives by, going right into a pit of water as it does so, causing most of the liquid to hit me. Not that it really matters; I'm already wet all through. First now am I thinking of the fact that I'll probably get sick either later tonight or tomorrow. Though I'm not one to easily get sick, I can't deny that getting away from this without getting that result will be almost impossible.

Right now my life sucks ass.

Especially since I'm supposed to visit the high school here tomorrow, because apparently they don't have autumn break like my school does and my grandmother wants me out of the house for a while. At that thought I almost find myself pitying them.

Poor kids.

I pout childishly as I suddenly realize that I'm getting colder than I was only a few seconds ago, meaning that the temperature was sinking. Great. I feel a shiver run through my body and it makes me want to walk under a tree, sit down and hold around myself so I at least get some kind of heat.

"Hey kid, yeah!"

I turn towards the road and blink when I find a car standing there. When had it stopped? I surly haven't heard anything.

The man inside has long blonde hair, which is mostly collected on the left side along with the fringe; which is covering the left side of the man's face, and it would've looked stupid in any other situation, but now I actually find it pretty cool.

Moving down to the man's face I discover that he has blue eyes, the visible one prettier than I expected it to be. The rest of the guy's face is very angelic, but masculine at the same time. Very handsome actually.

I shrug it off and ignore the blonde man inside the car after that and I turn back to face the smaller road in front of me. Slowly, but surly, I start to walk again.

I hear him call after me, telling me to stop, but I don't listen and continue on my way like I haven't heard him at all.

Suddenly his car is driving next to me, and he's glaring at me through the open window. I, on the other hand, just stare at the man with confusion; I don't really get what's going on or what he's trying to do, but I'm not good with people, so it is to be expected by me.

"It's rude to ignore people trying to help you, you know, yeah" the man states simply, almost as if he is trying to learn me that. I already know it of course, so I don't see why I'm bothering to listen to him.

I continue to ignore him, which, much to my pleasure, makes him irritated. Apparently he is one of those people with short temper.

"Okay, fuck this! I'm trying to help you, so get into the car before you get sick, yeah" he demand and uses a hand to point at the seat next to him.

"No" I reply, finally giving up ignoring the guy as I spare him a quick glance.

Suddenly he laughs and I find myself looking back at him with curious eyes. This isn't the reaction I was expecting.

"It all makes sense now, yeah! You're one of those who listen to their mommy when she tells you about the big, dangerous men trying to molest you!" he grinned as he watched my expression turn hard.

I am about to retort, but stop myself as I realize something.

Why would a guy as handsome as this one stop for a boy walking alone? Surly this man isn't gay. At least he doesn't look like he is. I bite the inside of my bottom lip lightly in thought; I can't see why he stopped for me, unless he's one of those who like to help other people, and he sure don't look like he do.

I hear him sigh, "listen, if I wanted to screw you I would've gotten to know you first. Besides, you don't look really strong, so I could easily force you into my car, which I will do if you don't get your little, pretty ass in here. Now. Yeah".

I feel my face twist up in a frown at the insult he gives me (I'm not _that_ weak), but there's also a warm feeling spreading through my cheeks when he finish speaking.

I have a pretty ass?

I don't think more about it before I sigh myself and walk around the car. I open the door to the passenger seat and get in, closing the door behind me. I look at him, but I quickly turn away when I see him smirk at me.

"I'm Deidara, yeah" he tells me as the car begins rolling forwards in a quicker speed.

I look at Deidara again, just to show him that I heard what he said. I have to admit that the name is pretty… and it fits him.

"Sasori" I reply, doing as he did and leaving my family name out of the picture.

"Pretty name, yeah; it fits you" Deidara says and look over at me again, giving me the same smirk. But this time I think it's because I'm blushing again. I don't know if he can see it though, but it sure looks like it. Especially since he haven't stopped smirking yet.

"Where do you live, yeah?" he finally asks, which tells me that he really didn't want to molest me.

"White street, number 19" Deidara nods, but then seems to register what I said and look at me in disbelief for a second (he turns back to the road).

"And you wanted to fucking walk, yeah?!" he suddenly say, "you're fucking stupid".

I just stare at him in return and he sighs before he spares me a small glance.

After ten minutes in the car, Deidara pulls over by a gas station and climbs out of it. He then bends down slightly to look at me, "you want something to eat, yeah?".

I think about it. Food would have been great right now, but I don't have enough money for anything so I shake my head and he nods, closing the door and then he walks into the station. Deidara comes back just a minute later. I can see that he's carrying a small, white box and a soda. My stomach growls and I curse silently.

Deidara gets back into the car and gives the box and soda to me, telling me to hold it for him for a minute. I do so and soon we are back onto the road.

He asks if I can open the box and I do that as well, immediately regretting it. In the box lie chips. Good smelling, warm chips.

"Thanks, yeah" Deidara says and reaches out for one. I watch as he eats it and takes another. This continues for about another three minutes before my stomach finally growls again. I hate it when I can't keep the growls from coming out.

Deidara blinks and looks at me. Then he laughs lightly as I blush in embarrassment.

He picks up another one and eats it. Then he pulls over and stops the car before he turns on the light above us. I watch him as he reach out for yet another chip and at the same time he's coming closer to me. Right now I don't know what to do, say or even think; all I can do is watch as he moves a bit down and then he licks my neck.

I gasp in surprise because I hadn't expected this and because I actually _like_ it. Then the chip is placed in my open mouth and Deidara pulls back. He grins at me as I turn a shade of red, much darker than the previous ones. I know this because of the damned heat in my face just kept increasing.

"For someone who doesn't want to be molested… you sure look like you enjoyed that, darling, yeah"

And Deidara leans towards me again.

- - - - -

I lie in the back of the car -naked- my legs spread apart while my hands has a firm grip around the handle on the door. Deidara is above me, running his hands all over me. And God it feels so _good_. I can hear myself moan over and over again; his touches are driving me crazy. I'm panting rather harshly as well, but I know he loves hearing it, because he told me that earlier.

"_I'm going to enjoy making you breathless, darling, yeah__"_

Deidara nibbles on the skin covering my neck and I can feel him lick it as well. I moan again and tilt my head to the side, giving him more access to my skin.

I know he's older than me, but it's really only a three years difference, so I don't give a fuck. I don't think I'd even care if he was ten years my senior; if he could still make me feel this great it wouldn't have mattered.

I feel one of his hands travel down and I throw my head back in a silent gasp as he touch me. Deidara rubs his hand against me and I let out long, pleased moans. Somewhere in the back of my mind I register that my legs and hands are shaking from all the pleasure and I also note that Deidara probably knows- sees- this.

Suddenly I feel his hand leaving me and I almost whine, but it's replaced by a couple of moans when he grinds against me instead. Faintly I hear him moan as well. He grinds against me again and again and again, and I think I'm going to release right here and now; it feels so good.

"Sorry darling, yeah" I hear him mutter in my ear as he moves down with his body enough to slide inside me without problems. I only grunt in reply and wrap my legs around his waist, silently telling him how much I want this.

I see him grin and he leans down to my face before he places a small kiss on my lips, "I think I might love you, yeah".

I scream.

I didn't even know that he was about to go in so soon. I want to reply to his words, tell him I felt the same way, but to have him inside me like this… right now it is so painful I can't think straight.

A few seconds flies by and I briefly wonder if it would have hurt just as much if we had used lube or if he had prepared me first. I don't know if it would have made much difference, but I think Deidara would have gotten into me easier.

I feel his hand run through my hair once and he bends down again, placing yet another kiss on my lips. It is surprisingly comforting and I find myself nodding.

He moves.


	2. Chapter 2

* * *

  


I hold back a scream by clenching my mouth shut and moving my hands from gripping the handle above my head to Deidara's back just as he moves inside me again.

Until now I have been pretty cure that sex is supposed to feel good, but right now I doubt it. This isn't great at all; it hurts very, very much. I want to scream, but I let out a displeased grunt instead. Surly he'd get the hint and slow down a bit; it's my first time and we haven't had any preparation. It's a bit late for that though.

Through my half open, pain stained eyes I see him sit up more. Now I can also see the pleasure on his face; Deidara really enjoys this.

I register that the pain I was previously feeling is dulling away slowly and I feel my body relax slightly, but it doesn't last long and I suddenly find myself throwing my head back, letting out a scream for real this time. But it's different from the others threatening to come out; it was purely filled with pleasure. I'm sure of it.

I let out a long moan as my body tenses and arches into his.

How could it possibly go from unbearable pain to heavenly pleasure in a second? I don't get it, but I can't find myself caring either.

Deidara moves his hands up my sides, over my shoulders and down my thin arms, and then he kiss me. My eyes slide shut and I open my mouth for him, moaning as I feel him thrust into me over and over.

His tongue slips into my mouth and he rolls it around, getting a feel of everything inside. After a few seconds he pulls away from my face, but not before a small lick is placed on my lips.

He sits back up again, almost as he did earlier, only this time he is holding onto me. I'm brought up and my face meets his collarbone; I'm even shorter than him when I sit in his lap. Deidara moves so he's sitting right in the backseat, back against the seat.

He's still moving inside me, but not with much power. It seems he can't thrust very well in this position. I briefly wonder why we're sitting like this then, but it's quickly forgotten as he smirks as me.

His hands travel down my upper body, stopping at my hips. Deidara holds each of my hipbones with a strong grip, but not so strong that it'll hurt me or make me feel uncomfortable.

I gasp.

He brings me down on him again, smirking while doing so. The pace quickens and I find myself moving up and down all by myself; his hands trailing up my body again as we both moan.

I'm making other sounds now as well, weird ones; they are high, almost girly, and short lasting. I find myself repeating them over and over, especially when I'm down and he's fully inside of me. The sounds I make change into moans again when he kiss and licks my neck, making hikies as he do this.

Deidara wraps his arms around me and gently lay me back down on the seat as he begins to move again and I stop moving all together, only arching my back now and then. My body grows hotter for each passing seconds and I hear myself telling Deidara that I'm close. In return he moves faster, which results in harder thrusts as well.

I throw my head back, my mouth shaped in a silent gasp as I come.

- - - - - -

I wake up some time later only to find I'm in horrible pain, have a pair of arms wrapped around me protectively and it's freezing. I look up at Deidara for a second and remember the sex. The memories make me blush lightly and I look back down, going further than I really should.

My blush deepens as I stare at the part of him that was inside me earlier.

I quickly shift my gaze back up again and end up staring at Deidara's chest and collarbone. We are both naked, our feet tangled together and first now do I realize I'm holding onto him.

I find myself smiling lightly and then I proceed with nuzzling my head in his bare chest. This action done without much thinking on my part and I regret it for a short second. I, however, don't pull away, only snuggle closer.

"Comfortable, yeah?" Deidara suddenly asks, startling me slightly; I thought he was sleeping.

"Very" I reply as I close my eyes again, ready to let the sleep come back to me.

"Good, yeah" he states and tightens his grip on me and at the same time pulling me closer to himself.

I admit that somewhere in the back of my mind a voice is telling me Deidara's only acting; acting like he cares about me. We have, after all, only just met and sex is something anyone can want at anytime; he could have just wanted a fuck and picked me up because of that, but I don't know, and surly I shouldn't judge him this quickly. Because up till now he has been very sweet, and someone who was only looking for a fuck would've left once it was done, right? Not that Deidara can leave me at the moment; we are in the middle of nowhere.

After half an hour of cuddling and small kissing he gets dressed and then, to my surprise, he lifts me into his lap carefully and begins dressing me as well, almost as if I can't do it myself. I know very well I can't though, at least without any pain following my movements. And he knows this.

"Hey, Deidara…"

He looks at me, small smile playing his lips.

"I think … I might love you too"

Deidara grins.

* * *

**Some people wanted it to continue both here and on dA... so be happy Also, I don't know how this will end or how to go with it, so be patient **


	3. Chapter 3

**3**

* * *

It's been five months since I visited my grandmother last time, but I won't be visiting her again; I'm going to live with her.

It took some time for me to get uncle to agree to this, but I finally managed to only two weeks ago and he's taking me to her today. I have already packed my things, both necessary stuff and unneeded things.

I haven't heard anything from Deidara in a while, but I don't care if he has moved on already; I want to be as close to him as possible anyway, because after out night in his car we used a day to talk and get to know each other. I found out that I like him already before the sex, but I began to like him much better after we had the talk. I hope he feels the same for me. I also hope that he still likes me as much as he did.

I sigh and run a hand through my hair before I sit up on my bed just as my uncle arrives through the front door downstairs and makes his presence known. I hear Temari make her way through the corridor and down the stairs before I, too, get up and follow her.

The tree siblings are already down there, talking with their father, who sees me once I get to the bottom of the stairs. I smile lightly at the man and he returns it before he tells me to get the rest of my stuff, which is clothes and other things like that; my bed, desk and closet was moved already a week ago.

- - - - - - -

I get out of the car and look around White street before I let my eyes focus on number 19. The house is just as white as it was five months ago, but the doors are blue instead of green now.

I get my bag from the backseat of the car and make my way towards the front door, my uncle already ahead of me.

I walk through the first room and into the corridor leading to the kitchen (my grandmother is _always_ in the kitchen). However, before I reach it an arm wraps around my waist and I'm pulled backwards, my back meets a firm, warm chest.

I want to turn to look who it is, but I can't because the guy is holding me still, keeping me from moving.

"Fancy seeing you here, darling, yeah"

Deidara.

A tongue licks my neck and I shudder; it's been so long since he last did this to me. I drop my bag and it meets the floor with little sound as he loosens his grip around my waist. In return I turn around and wrap my arms around his neck. Our lips meet clumsily and he chuckles lightly as we pull apart.

"What are you doing here, Deidara?" I ask him as my head finds his chest and rests there.

"I'm a painter, yeah, and your grandmother needed someone to paint your room" he replies, "that, and I thought this was a way to see you more often. What about you, yeah?".

I smile into his chest, "college".

I know he's grinning right about now; it's typical for him to do something like that in a situation like this.

"Aw, you've gotten so big already, darling!" Deidara teases, making me snort.

He gives me another kiss, which I meet without any doubt. Unfortunately my uncle decides that I'm taking too long to get into the kitchen and he comes out to look for me, walking in just as Deidara slips his tongue into my mouth and I moan.

My uncle takes a hold of my shirt collar and yanks me away from Deidara, "excuse me young man, but I believe you're here to paint and not make out with the grandson of your payer".

He stares at me and my uncle and then he laughs. I am pretty sure my uncle isn't taking this all too lightly.

"That's true old man, but you see-" Deidara smirks at me, "Sasori here, is my boyfriend, yeah. I haven't seen him in a while, so I couldn't stop myself".

My uncle looks at me with wide eyes, most likely wanting me to confirm this.

I smile and nod.

My uncle meets the floor.

- - - - - - -

"I'll see you later darling, yeah" he says and kisses my cheek lightly. I smile at him and he returns t with a grin before he turns and heads for his car.

I walk back into the house and kitchen before I seat myself in the empty chair next to my now awake uncle. He's staring at me and I know why; my uncle don't get why he found me making out with a man three years my senior.

Deidara and I had to explain a couple of things, like for example, where we met, how long we've been together and other stuff like that. We lied of course; hell would freeze over before I told my relatives I had sex with a stranger and this was only the second time we've met.

It feels like Deidara and I have been going out forever though, and the thought of that makes me quite happy.

"I don't like that guy" my uncle informs me as he gives me a warning look. I know he only want what's best for me, but I'm not a kid anymore; I can make my own decisions.

"Don't be silly!" the old hag retort, "he's a fine man and you don't know him, so you really shouldn't judge him because of his sexual relationship with Sasori".

I feel my face heat up slightly at her comment and they both stare at me, my grandmother smiling and my uncle looking quite serious.

"You had sex?!" he almost yell and I flinch at the tone of his voice; my uncle isn't happy.

I hesitate, not because I regret anything I have let Deidara do to me, my body, but because I know how angry my uncle can get if he only has a reason to. And, for some reason, this is reason enough for him to explode.

"Yes"

It was time to piss him off even more; no more lies.

"When?"

"Five months ago"

"Where?"

"In his car"

I can almost _feel_ his anger rising.

"How long did you know him before you had sex?"

Uh-oh…

"About fifteen minutes"

I fly off the chair and onto the floor, my left hand covering the right side of my face. I shouldn't have told them at all. I should have kept my mouth shut; now he won't allow me to see Deidara again.

"What are you thinking with?!" he asks harshly, "you don't even know the kid".

I sit back up, but I don't face either of the two at the kitchen table. Instead I get to my feet and walk out, ignoring my two relatives.


	4. Chapter 4

I open my eyes and stare at the ceiling above me, and I will dare to say that I'm glaring at it; before my uncle left yesterday he decided to talk some more with me. It was still the same shit from earlier so I hadn't bothered to listen to him. I roll over to my side as my glare fades away from my face, a small pout taking its place.

I sigh.

It's still a few days until school starts, so I don't have much more to do than walk around here. I won't be too bored though; Deidara will be working here for at least another two days, but I will have to figure out something to do while he is working.

Maybe I could help?

Smiling lightly at the thought of that, I get up and over to the closet. My room isn't big; it's a small square, my bed is standing in the corner farthest away from the door while the closet stands up against the wall opposite from the bed. On the right side of the bed is a window, and on the left stands a nightstand table. My desk stands right opposite from the window and a chair is proudly standing in front of it.

It's not much more in here, but that's because this isn't the room I'm supposed to be sleeping in; Deidara is painting that one.

I open the doors to the closet and scan through the shelves for a few seconds. After a minute or so I take out a loose, black shirt with three white stripes crossing the chest horizontally. Then I pull out a pair of light blue, flexible jeans (I can't handle those that stops your movement).

I pull the shirt over my head and the jeans up, over my hipbones before I head for the door. I open and pull it towards myself just in time to see Deidara walk by with paint and a few brushes in his arms. He doesn't notice me, but I can talk to him later; I haven't seen my room yet anyway, so if my grandmother don't want me to see him I'll just say I want to see how my room looks.

She can't deny me access to my own room.

But I don't think she will deny me from seeing Deidara; she didn't look like she minded that I like him. Or about the sex information she got, which is a bit weird in my mind, but then again, my grandmother has always been weird.

I walk in the opposite direction of Deidara and into the kitchen where I find my grandmother by the table, drinking coffee and reading today's newspaper; Deidara must have taken it with him.

I sit down on the chair in front of her and she smiles at me.

"Deidara is upstairs" she informs and I nod in reply, smiling lightly in return.

"I'm going to eat first"

"There's no eggs" she says and grins tiredly.

I let out a breath and get back to my feet. It's so typical of my grandmother not to have any eggs when I'm around. I actually start to think she's doing this on purpose.

- - - - - - - -

The first thing that hits me when I open the door to my real bedroom is the smell of paint. I briefly wonder how Deidara can stand this.

I step into the room and look around, finding the colour of choice very pretty; it is some shade of blue I have never seen.

"You like, yeah?"

I turn my head to him and nod. He smiles.

"Good, yeah" he takes a look around the room himself, "I was hoping you would like it".

He walks over and wraps an arm around my waist, pulling me closer to himself. In return I lean against him and close my eyes, enjoying the contact to the fullest.

"How did your uncle say after I left, yeah?"

"He just told me he didn't like you"

"That's it, yeah?"

I nod.

"Hmn… that's weird" Deidara muses seriously, "because either you're not telling me everything, or your grandmother lied to me earlier, yeah"

This time I tense.

"Which one is it darling?"

I keep silent, but it seems to answer his question and I feel his arm tighten around me, the unoccupied one coming around the top of my back. Then he brings me into a hug.

"Don't keep things like these from me again, yeah"

I nod again, but mostly because he has an almost angry tone. I'm not sure if the anger is directed towards me or my uncle, but he's hugging me so I think it doesn't really matter if it is me.

We stand like this for a while, Deidara holding me to his chest and I leaning against him, letting him keep me from falling; I'm not heavy, so I doubt he's very bothered by it. After all, if he wasn't pushing me up or anything, just letting me lean against him.

"What are you doing in here anyway, yeah?" he asks and looks down at me. I lift my head and stare back up at him.

"Wanted to see if you needed any help"

He smiles at me and pulls away, walking over to the windowsill a second later. Deidara comes back to me with a paintbrush. I take it and study the small strands for a minute; they're thick and brownish, almost black. It isn't a big brush though and I easily see it's used in corners.

"Where can I paint?"

"Those two corners, yeah" he replies and points to the two mentioned corners. I nod and take a small box of the blue paint with me before I move towards the first corner.

- - - - - - - -

I pull away from the last corner and study my work. After a second I find myself satisfied with the result and turn to look at Deidara. He's looking at me, smiling and I walk over to him.

He pulls me against his body and I shudder at the touch. I reach p with my arms and wrap them around his neck as his goes around my waist. He leans down and I stand on my toes, our lips meet and my eyes fall shut.

It's a gentle kiss; nether of us are trying to deepen it just yet and I find myself slightly happy because of that (just feeling him against me is enough right now).

I relax into the kiss and shudder lightly as he makes another move. I feel my bottom lip between his and shudder again. One of his hands moves from around my hip and up towards my shoulder blades and neck slowly, almost teasingly.

It feels good.

Deidara pulls away from me slightly and grins. I open my eyes and smile lightly at him in return before I let my heels meet the floor again and my head comes in the height of his collarbone. I place my forehead there and take a deep breath, smelling the paint reek off his clothes. The paint smell probably lies in his hair as well.

"Shower?" I suggest and he chuckles.

"That'd be great darling, yeah"


	5. Chapter 5

Out of the showerhead came small jets of warm water, creating damp once it hits the floor beneath.

I stand about a meter away from the shower, just watching the water fly here and there in uninterested matter. Deidara is standing somewhere to my left. I know he's undressing already, but I keep my clothes on for now; he never said me he want me to join him. Though he did take me in with him, so I guess I'm here to shower with him.

Just as I think this he kiss my cheek and I turn to face him. He's already naked. He's grinning too, but that's completely natural.

"You're not going to join me, yeah?" he whisper into my ear and I can feel his grin widen when I shudder.

I don't answer his question, but I pull my shirt over my head and throw it into one of the corners, my jeans follow a second later along with my socks. I slip my thumbs past my boxers, but I make no move to pull them down; he's staring at me and it's making me nervous.

Deidara notice that I have stopped undressing and tilt his head in confusion, or at least that's what I think.

"Why did you stop, yeah?"

I don't reply and he grins. I'm pulled back towards his chest, my bare back and his naked chest meet. I shiver and lean against him as he wraps his arms around my waist, pulling me closer than I already am. A second later I feel his flat hand travel up my stomach and chest while his face finds my neck. He nuzzles it softly and his hand reaches the skin above my heart.

He licks the skin on my neck and I let out a pleased breath. I almost feel it when Deidara's grin widens and he finds a spot, sucking on it. I bet he's making a hickey. Marking me as his. I almost giggle; I like that thought.

I finally push my boxers down as he pulls his mouth away from my neck, licking the newly made hickey before he moves fully away from me. He proceeds by taking my hand in his own and pulling me with him into the shower and under the warm water. I pull the shower curtain closed behind us.

- - - - - - - -

I lie in my bed, next to me lies Deidara. I have my head on his chest and he has both of his arms wrapped around my waist.

I'm almost sleeping, but I keep myself awake. It's not exactly simple though; he keeps on stroking my head, playing with the locks of red hair I have. It feels good and is very soothing, so it's actually weird I haven't fallen asleep yet, especially when I think about how heavy my eyelids are right now.

I think he knows how tired he's making me by showing me this kind of affection, but I also think that's why he doesn't stop. I sigh and snuggle closer to his side and I bet he's smiling at my action.

It's a bit hard for me to believe we haven't known each other for our whole lives seeing as we are as close as we are. I bet it's because of the talk we had five months ago that I feel this way, but I can't really know if he told me the truth back then, can I?

I just have to trust him, which I already am, but I have to remind myself of that sometimes because he can act like a real player from time to time. That, and I really don't know if he's been telling me the truth or not. But I guess it's the same for him; he can't know whether I have been lying or not. I hope he didn't lie about anything though; I told him almost everything about myself, not lying once.

"I'll be coming over tomorrow as well, but that's only for checking up on the paint and help moving your stuff back in, yeah" he say and kiss my forehead.

I nod, "and then?"

"Then what, yeah?"

I roll my eyes and he pouts at me; Deidara can be really slow at times.

"Then how do we meet?" I ask, repeating my previously asked question with more words so he can understand what I mean.

"I take you out on dates of course, yeah!" he grins and ruffles my hair playfully, "and I'm going to drive you to school too"

I prop myself up with my shoulders and look at him, my head cocked slightly to the left. Why would he do that for me? He has work in the mornings, right? I'm about to speak, but I stop when one of his fingers finds my lips and presses against them lightly.

"I never really mentioned it, yeah, but I live in this street; number 20"

He does what?

Apparently there's some things he haven't told me about yet.

He grins, "I knew who you was already before I picked you up that night"

"How?" I find myself asking, but I'm not really registering it; I can't believe I've never seen him around White Street if he lives here.

"Window; I used to watch you walk out with the trash and stuff, yeah"

This was quite the surprise.

"Oh"

Deidara grins down at me again and I can't help but to smile in return.


	6. Chapter 6

I wake up the next morning when my grandmother comes through the door to my room, making some awful noise with a pan and some kind of spoon (I can't see it from here because of the light coming through my window, blurring my sight). Propping myself up on my elbows, I glare lightly at the old woman and she chuckles in return, making me growl in annoyance.

"What do you want old hag?" I ask, the insult not really anything more but a nickname. She knows this of course and don't take it seriously. Instead she just walks over to my bed and grins down at me happily.

Apparently she's in a good mood.

"Your boyfriend called a minute ago" she replies just as happily as he smile is.

"What did he say?"

"He'll be picking you up in ten minutes, so you have to get ready"

I practically jump out of the bed and skip over to the closet.

Apparently I'm happy as well despite the fact that I have no idea what Deidara wants to do. It doesn't really matter much for me though; he said he would be taking me out on dates, so maybe this was one. I smile as I pull out some suitable clothes and quickly dress myself. Then I run a hand through my hair before I take one look into the mirror just to check that it looks okay. Not that my hair can look okay´; it's always messy. I like it like that though and only flattens it down if there's a lock sticking out.

I can hear my grandmother chuckle as I leave the room with long, quick steps (as long as I can manage).

- - - - - -

I finish brushing my teeth as a car stops outside of the house and I hear the car door slamming shut a few seconds before a knocking sound his hear able from the front door.

Checking myself in the mirror once more, I walk out of the room and head for the door. My grandmother beats me though and opens it before she greets Deidara and invites him inside. Our eyes meet and he grins at me. I, not being one to grin, return his gesture with a smile.

It's a bit weird to see him after he told me where he lives and used to be looking at me secretly. It's the latter that's making me feel a bit weird though, but it's a good weird; I can almost say it's a warm weird and it makes me feel kind of special, which is exactly why I didn't react any differently than I did yesterday.

Well, that, and I really can't react any other way when people tell me stuff like that. Not that I'm used to it or anything!

Deidara is the first who has told me anything like that and I'm actually amazed by the fact that he actually told me.

"Hey darling, yeah" he greets me as he comes closer and ruffles my hair, making it even messier.

"Hi" I reply as my smile widens slightly.

We manage share a small kiss before my grandmother breaks us up and practically drags us into the kitchen. I sit down on a chair and Deidara does the same, taking the one next to me. He takes my hand under the table and our fingers tangle together in a loose, but loving hold.

The old hag sits down in front of us and pours some coffee into her cup and takes a sip, which is followed by a much bigger sip. If you haven't noticed yet; my grandmother is kind of an addict. A coffee addict of course.

She drinks the horrible tasting liquid till breakfast, lunch, cake break (she calls it cake break) and when we watch TV after dinner, which she also would have been drinking coffee too haven't I told her not to; she tends to listen to me sometimes.

"Well, you two should get going" the hag says and smiles brightly.

I suddenly don't understand why we were dragged into the kitchen, but then again, there's not much you can understand when it comes to my grandmother.

- - - - - -

Fifteen minutes after we seated ourselves in Deidara's car, he turn down the volume on the radio and look at me for a second before his eyes goes back to gaze at the road in front of us. I'm expecting him to say something, but he doesn't; just continues to glance at me from time to time, so I let my mind wander over to something else than him.

The music playing on the radio isn't all too bad, but not exactly what I like to hear. I don't complain or even change the channel though; Deidara probably likes listening to this kind of music and I have no reason to be egoistic.

I find myself thinking at Deidara again and change my thoughts slightly, just so the topic is different, but he is still involved.

What are we going to do downtown? He never told me anything; not where we are going (we're heading downtown so I'm only guessing that's where we're going), not what we're going to do and all that other crap. Either he wants it to be a surprise or he just hasn't told me anything because I haven't asked.

I don't want to ask though. I'll rather wait and see than get to know it and wait for it to happen. But I kind of already am waiting, right? I let out a small, annoyed breath, but I don't think it's loud enough for Deidara to hear.

"How have you been, yeah?" he suddenly asks and I look over at him in confusion; he should know very well what I've been doing; he's been with me, has he not?

I am about to reply, but stop myself as I realize he may be referring to these past five months. That's more likely than the other, especially since he doesn't seem to be one to forget things very easily; I actually believe he has a photographic memory (yesterday he was able to tell me which days I had been walking out with the trash on, and that's a long time ago; even I can't remember). I can be mistaken though.

"Good" I reply.

"That's good" he says.

"You?"

"I've been fine, yeah"

"Good"

"Yes, very good, yeah"

And our conversation ends.

We sit in silence for a little while after that. I'm looking out of the window and I'm pretty sure he's staring at the road, trying to look out for possible animals around the asphalt and at the same time keep the car on the right side of the road.

I can drive as well, but I never do.

I had an incident during the winter and crashed my uncle's car in someone else's. My uncle paid for the damage on both cars and no one bothered me about it after that (people tended to ask me stuff about it all the time). I've never sat in the driver's seat since then, not even when my uncle tried to force me into driving again; I'm afraid I'll do something wrong and crash again.

"We're not really good at talking, yeah" Deidara states and gains my attention at the same time. I look at him and tilt my head slightly.

"What do you mean?"

He gives me somewhat of a smile.

"We're always either making out or cuddling; we never talk about stuff, yeah" he explains, making me realize that he's right; we haven't talked properly since the day after we had sex, which was five months ago. But then again, we've only just met up again, so it should be normal to be a little needy, right? I get what he's talking about though.

"I guess so" I reply as I, too, look out of the front window.

Silence on his part.

I sigh.

"What have you been doing up till now?"

He grins at me in triumph, probably glad to hear his plan to make me start a conversation first was working. Good for him

"Finished school and began working as a painter" he tells as we drive by a sign, which signalized that they were downtown, "you, yeah?".

"High school and summer break"

"Mhn… what did you do during your break, darling, yeah?"

I stay silent for a few seconds, trying to actually remember what I have been doing up till now. Finally remembering, I find it not really worth telling seeing as I haven't really been doing very much; I've mostly been working all summer, getting myself some money before I left my uncle's house.

I didn't get much, but it's enough for me since I already live with my grandmother and I have, apparently, gotten myself a private driver. I smile lightly at that thought.

"Work" I reply simply as we turn in a swing.

"Oh?" He asks, almost sounding surprised, "what kind of work, yeah?".

"In a store, and I also watched kids while their parents was at work"

"Sounds fun, yeah"

"It wasn't"

Deidara chuckles and I smile lightly; I just can't help but to smile when he's happy.

"What about your summer?" I ask him after a bit of silence.

He takes some time to answer just like I did, but I can't be sure if it's because he, too, tries to remember what he's been doing or if it's because there's some parts of it he doesn't want to tell me.

"It was okay; I was mostly out with friends and had fun, yeah"

I nod, he smiles at me and we both look out at the road.


	7. Chapter 7

I stare at the content of the store Deidara just dragged me into, it's a bookstore and I do believe they're selling the books I'll need for college; it's a huge sign standing over a table filled with different books, saying "College Books". I look around some more, but I see nothing interesting- it looks just like a normal bookstore; shelves are standing up against the walls and books are placed in them. Over these shelves are other signs, telling people what genre it is.

Somewhere there's shelves sticking out from the wall and the people working in the store has placed a few tables with writing books, pencils and other unimportant stuff. I scan through the store one more time before I turn to look at Deidara.

He smiles at me and takes my hand in his own before he begins walking towards the counter; I simply tangle our fingers together and follow him.

As we get closer to the counter, the woman behind it turns and looks at us, smiling brightly for some reason. I'm pretty sure I don't know her, but Deidara probably does; he's been living around here for a good while. I look up at him and confirm my thoughts; he's smiling back at her.

I find myself glad to know his smile is much wider and caring when it's directed towards me.

"I'm surprised to see you here, Deidara" she says once we get to a stop on the other side of the counter, "You don't usually need books".

"No, but he does, yeah" he replies, motioning towards me with his unoccupied hand. The woman looks at me, her smile dropping slightly as our eyes meet, then, without any doubt at all, she turns back to Deidara.

"Surly the kid can buy books by himself, so why are you here, wasting your time?"

I immediately think of it as a statement instead of a question and frown. I think Deidara thinks that as well; I can see him scowling at the girl out of the corner of my eyes, making my lips curve slightly. I turn to him and lean up, placing a kiss on his lips before I untangle my fingers from his.

"I'll go find my books, Dei, you just stay here and talk with your friend" I say before I walk away, leaving the two for a small, round table filled with books I will soon learn to hate.

I sigh in annoyance; I remember clearly which books I need, but I don't have the money to buy them at the moment; all of the money I earned this summer is already spent on my cousins, me, food, some clothes and my driver's license (which I will never have use for). The thing was paid by my uncle at first, because I didn't have enough money when I was first going to take it, so I had to pay him back.

A pair of arms wrap around my waist and a nose buries itself in my neck, "am I Dei´ now darling, yeah?".

"Apparently you are" I reply and lean onto him, letting him keep me from falling, which he (gladly, if I may add) does.

"You finding the books you need, yeah?"

I nod, "don't have any money though".

"I never intended for you to buy them, yeah" he tells me as his head moves from my neck and onto my shoulder. In return I turn my head so I can see at least a part of his face.

"Then why are we here?"

"To buy your books, yeah"

I blink; we're here to buy my college books, but I'm not buying them… so then it has to be Deidara. But why would I let my boyfriend pay for my books? I can't have him paying for me, that's just stupid; I can't take his money like that.

Something tells me I can't say no to this though, so I sigh.

"Oh c'mon, don't be like that; this is something I want to do darling, yeah" he grins and I nod in reply.

- - - - - - -

Deidara points at a table and gives me a light push in the direction of it before he heads for the exit. I sigh for the second time this day and make my way over to one of the chairs; it's a two man's table, the table itself is round and woody, not painted in any colour. The chairs don't look all too comfortable, but the small pillow-like things on the seat will probably make it a bit softer.

I sit down in one of the chairs and, as patiently as I can manage, wait for Deidara to return; he just had to carry the bags of books out into the car before we ate, and I really cannot understand why. We're, after all, going to the car once we're done eating.

We have to start first though.

A good two minutes later a waiter comes over to me, smiling just as brightly as that girl was to Deidara earlier.

"Can I take your order?" he asks rather politely.

I didn't think café's had waitresses who actually came over to their customers to ask what they wanted.

"Not yet" I reply and he leaves me to myself yet again.

- - - - - - - -

It's been ten minutes and I'm still sitting here, not understanding why I am; surly Deidara would have been back a while ago, so why isn't he here?

The waitress has already been by my table twice since the first time and I'm considering ordering something and then run off; as previously mentioned, I have money problems right now.

Sighing, I get up from the chair and away from the table all together. I can almost feel the people working in the café stare at my retreating back and I bet they don't understand what's going on. Unfortunately for me, I only know a little bit more than they do, so I can't do anything about this situation except for looking for Deidara.

I walk through the people filled hallway as I look into the stores, looking for blonde hair. I've seen a couple of blondes already, but none had the same shade of blonde as he has, so I hadn't bothered to even check their faces. And besides that, Deidara was tall, taller than most people around here, which made it even easier for me to shake my head no and move on.

It's been twenty minutes since he left and I still haven't seen him anywhere; I've walked through the mall many times already, not seeing anything that could count as him.

I'm starting to feel quite betrayed, hurt and sad, and these emotions are coming quite too quickly for my liking.

I take a step out of the mall and look around. I can't see his car anywhere, nor can I see him.

A whimper manages to get past my lips.


	8. Chapter 8

I let myself fall onto the bed in my room two hours later before I close my eyes, keeping them shut tightly together as I bite the pillow in anger; I'm a lot more angry than sad and hurt and all those other crappy feelings you usually get in these kinds of situations, but it, somehow, fits me perfectly. Because if I'm angry I can blame it on anything, I won't have to cry and tell anyone about today's happenings. Unfortunately I still keep getting small pains in my heart when I think about Deidara.

I roll over to my side and curl up into a ball, my pillow clutched tightly to my upper body.

I want to destroy the damned thing, use a knife and stab it, rip it apart and then make a fire of it. Then I'd move onto the quilt and damage that as well.

This is how I feel at the moment and I can only hope it's natural and that it will disappear after a while.

- - - - - - - -

It's dark outside and I'm not too sure about the time; I do believe that it's around seven or eight though.

I hear a knock on my door, but I don't bother to get up and open it (I think I locked it some time ago). It's actually the second time someone knocks on the wood and disturbs my self-pity time, and it makes me even angrier.

Why can't people leave me alone when it's obvious I'm not in the mood?!

My grandmother came up earlier and knocked, telling me it was time for dinner. I never replied though and she left after five minutes. The hag didn't enter, I know she tried to open the door, but didn't manage to get it open, which is why I think I locked it.

The wood is knocked on again, more forcefully this time and I realize it isn't my grandmother; it can't be, especially since she doesn't have the power to knock this hard. The handle is turned and the door is pulled at, but it won't budge.

It has to be Deidara… but why haven't he said anything yet? Why is he even here? Maybe he- maybe he knows I'm mad at him.

The tugging and knocking on the door suddenly disappear and I hear footsteps leave, heading for the kitchen, or at least I think they are.

I get up from my bed slowly and look around the room as my feet meet the slightly cold floor. I stand up straight and finally realize that the light in my room isn't even on. I take a step towards the light-switch squeak in surprise when my foot comes down on some kind of plastic bottle and I fall.

I curse loudly as I pick the bottle up. I stare at it for a few seconds and then it ends up crashing with the wall. After the noise in my room quiet down I can hear people walk around in the kitchen and Deidara's voice can also be heard, but more silently than the steps.

I sigh and look at the window in my room, causing an idea to pop into my head; I don't want to be anywhere near Deidara at the moment, but he clearly wants to stay until I come out. So why not leave myself?

I let a small smile play with my lips at the idea as I walk over to the window, opening it once I get close enough. A cold breeze hit my face and I look down, cursing as I see a hole under me.

Why haven't the old hag told me about this before?

Looking around I spot a tree to my right and quickly I take a hold of a large, thick branch with the hand nearest to it. I climb onto the windowsill and place my other hand on the branch before I lift myself out and onto the tree. I creep towards the tree and once I reach it I slowly climb down.

My feet hit the ground and I turn around, only to be pressed against the huge plant by a body. Two arms wrap around me as I try to figure out what's going on and who this is. I look up and my eyes narrow as my expression turns into a glare.

"Don't look at me like that darling, yeah" Deidara chuckled and kissed my forehead. In return I try to push him away, but it's to no use; I can't even move him if I try really hard.

"Don't call me that!" I sneer back as I try to get away once more.

He looks at me and frowns. It's as if he realizes how mad I really am first now.

"Okay listen, I didn't mean for you to be left behind, yeah" He says as I glare harshly at him and try to break free again. Deidara only holds me closer to himself though, so it's to no use this time either.

"That's bullshit! You knew perfectly well that I was still inside, so why did you leave?!"

"I didn't mean to, yeah"

"What kind of answer is that?!"

I fight back some tears.

"The kind you will get from me unless you calm down enough to actually listen darling, yeah"

He's calm, completely calm and I can't understand why; because this isn't a situation to stay calm… at least it isn't to me.

I, for some reason, calm down anyway. A part of me believes it's because Deidara is keeping calm and hasn't stopped calling me darling.

"I was placing the bags in the car and some of my friends chose that moment to ´surprise´ me. I literally jumped in fright and hit my neck; I lost consciousness" he explains quietly into my ear, "They drove me home in my car… I'm sorry, yeah".

I stay still in his arms as my body relaxes and my head comes to rest on his chest. I feel him smile lightly into my hair as he kisses the red locks and my head.

"Don't be"

I tend to always believe things he's telling me, and this time isn't any different. I have a feeling that because of this, we'll end up in much worse situations.

I hope we won't though.


	9. Chapter 9

I'm nervous.

I'm really fucking nervous; my hands are shaking, it's way too hot in here, too many people and I swear I'm blushing slightly. Deidara is here to comfort me -to keep me from getting too nervous-, but it isn't helping me much.

I never should have applied for this college, should've done like my other classmates did and taken the nearest one, but no, I had to move closer to Deidara.

It's not like I regret that part or anything; it's just that now, I have to meet new people and get new friends. I'm not that type to get close to people easily (Deidara's an exception of course) and they are all probably friends with each other already. What if I'm kept outside or something?

I take a deep breath as my boyfriend squeezes my hand lightly, silently telling me to calm down and relax.

I have to stop bringing myself down like that; of course they will accept me and I will get a lot of friends!

That didn't work.

Deidara moves his hand from my own and wrap it around my waist instead and brings me closer as we get closer to the crowds of students.

I'm not really sure why he decided to come along since he has work and all, but I'm glad he did; shows that he cares. It's about then I see him glare at some people at the same time as he pulls me even closer; apparently it's not only that he cares, he also wants people to understand I'm taken. I smile lightly at the thought of that and lean my head against his shoulder.

I bet he's smirking smugly just about now, but I don't care since I've taken that kind of smile as a I like that´ on his part.

I'm a bit calmer now, I feel safe in this position, but the nervousness isn't completely gone yet and some of the stares both Deidara and I are getting is making it a bit awkward. I don't get why they keep looking at us like that, unless, of course, most of them are homophobic.

That will surly help me get friends in this damned place, won't it?

Deidara chuckles and I look up at him. He's grinning and staring at my face, so I take it I have a ridiculous expression on my face right about now.

We walk over to the crowd and stay still in the back as a man, probably the principal, walks up in front of us.

The man welcomes the new students and thanks the old ones for taking another year in this school before he announce that every student will come up in front and introduce themselves when called.

"Sasori Kakeru"

I gulp and swear to God I hate the world.

- - - - - - -

I'm led to my classroom along with my new classmates by our teacher. Deidara left earlier so now I have to walk around this place alone as I try to remember where everything is.

We finally enter the classroom and I secure myself a seat in the back and in the corner farthest away from the door. I think everyone wanted this seat because now they're giving me a glance before they look around for other places to sit.

The classroom isn't big; there's twenty desks and twenty chairs (twenty-one with the teacher's), for windows on a row on the wall right next to me, that means they're on the wall opposite of the door. The blackboard is placed behind the teacher's desk and there's standing an old TV to the left (my right) of it, closest to the door. There's two closets it here, but they aren't really built for having a lot of things inside them, I can see that from here. The closets are placed on the door's left side.

"Welcome to Health and Care" The teacher suddenly says as she sits down on the chair behind the desk in the front, "My name is Kathleen and I'm the one who's going to teach you everything you'll need to know after your three or four years here".

Everyone is looking at the woman as she continues speaking, telling us about what we will need to know and what isn't very important. Finally she stops talking and just stares at us for a few moments.

"We will continue this class once you have all gotten to know each other slightly. I will be back in half an hour"

I let my gaze fly to the window as soon as the door closes behind the teacher, Kathleen. I can't help but to think she has a weird name, but it's probably because I've never heard anything like it before.

After a minute or so I turn to look around the classroom, my eyes eyeing my classmates for a few seconds before they move on to the next one. First now do I realize how many girls there is in the class; we're only four boys, but have sixteen girls. I also see that most of them already know each other, or at least some of the others in the class. I think I'm the only one who has no clue who anyone in here is.

I let out a breath and turn my head to look out of the window next to me. The sky is grey and it's raining outside, the trees are already leaf-free even though it's still pretty early in the autumn, making it seem even darker than it already is.

"Why's everyone so damned quiet?" someone suddenly says and I turn to look at this person.

It turns out to be a male. He has just about as short hair as I have, it's the opposite of messy and it's brown. He has a few pimples in his face and he's quite tall, maybe just a bit shorter than Deidara (I can see this on the guy's legs; they're very long and thin).

I can see some of the others smiling and I bet they, as me, don't know why he asked that. The silence continues and I turn back to the window. About a minute later the teacher comes into the room again and sits down in her chair. I didn't think half an hour had passed already.

"Do you know each other now?"

Silence.

"Thought so" she sighs, "okay, let's try a different way; you are to tell why you're taking this class and what you want to become".

For a brief moment I actually ask myself if we're in a kindergarten.

"You start" Kathleen states as she points to the girl closest to the door, making her blush lightly and look down at her desk.

It's good to know I'm not the only nervous one in here.

"I'm here to become a nurse"

A nod from the teacher and then a point towards the student next to the girl who just spoke.

"I don't know" the boy answered, "I guess I'm here because it seemed more interesting than the rest".

Another point.

"Ambulance driver"

Then she finally came to me and I kept my mouth shut.

"Well?"

"I… don't know"

Another sigh.

Suddenly I feel like I don't really belong here.

**This is how my first day in college was... 'cept I didn't have anyone there to comfor me '**


	10. Chapter 10

I look up and towards the door as the doorbell to the café begins ringing. I'm happy to see Deidara walk through it and smile lightly in his direction. He sees it and returns it with his usual grin.

School ended rather early today; they showed us around the school, went through the rules and what kind of teachers we will have throughout the year. I'm glad that was all, but I had to wait for Deidara to finish work before I could get anywhere else.

He sits down in front of me, the grin still on its place in his face. I take a sip from the bottle of cola on the table and stare back at him. I know he wants to ask questions, but waits for me to start speaking. I won't though, so we'll probably end up here, just sitting still and staring at each other.

This is probably what he meant when he said we're speaking way too little with each other. I agree with him too, but I don't know what to talk about, and that's because I don't know what to talk with him about.

Finally he sighs and reaches out for me. I blink as his hand makes contact with my head and he ruffles my red locks.

"How was your day, yeah?"

I shrug and move my head against his hand as it comes down to my chin, "I guess it was okay"

His grin softens slightly and I realize he knows I'm not telling the truth. I pout.

"It was terrible; I don't know anyone"

"So, yeah?"

"Everyone else knows someone in the class already"

"So, yeah?"

I start to get slightly irritated.

"Why would they take me into their gangs´?"

Deidara chuckles and strokes my cheek with his hand.

"Idiot, of course they will, yeah" he states simply, "it'll just take a bit of time to get to know them"

I nod as the irritation from earlier disappears and is replaced by a happy feeling. He has that effect on me even though we don't talk all too much; Deidara only has to smile for my mood to change to the better.

- - - - - - -

I sigh in content and lean against Deidara as we stare out at the ocean view in front of us; the waves goes back and forth by the shore and the sun is just in the right position to create a pinkish sky. It's hard to explain, but this is one of those romantic moments´ people have in films.

I've never been one to like drama and romance movies; experiencing it in real life is so much better than watching some actors fake it.

The moment we're sharing turns even better as I feel his hand leave mine and move to grasp my waist instead. He pulls me closer to himself and I fondle with his loose pants. They're a light shade of grey with black stripes going from his hips and down to the end. He's also wearing a black hoodie with a weird, white design on the chest.

"Hey Dei?" I ask and he looks over at me.

"Yeah?"

It's very sudden and random, and I'm sure he won't like what I'm going to say, but this may help us in some way; after all, I want this to last.

"You remember when you told me we don't talk much with each other, right?"

"Of course, yeah, why?"

I hope he won't get mad.

"I think I have a solution"

"Shoot, yeah"

I keep silent for a few seconds as I nibble on my bottom lip, hoping this really is the right way to do this; I don't really want to, but as I said, I want this –us- to last.

"I think we should be friends"


	11. Chapter 11

Deidara is staring at me; his eyes are wide and are clearly showing hurt. I feel bad about it, but not just because I just broke up with him. It's also because I feel happy. I feel happy because of his hurt. This may seem really heartless of me, but it's not what I mean at all; I'm happy because he wants to be with me. I guess it's still quite heartless of me though.

His arm retreats from me completely and he moves to look at me properly. His jaw is tight, his fists clenched and I can see his whole body is tense. Now I feel guilty as well. Very, very, very guilty and I really want to throw myself at him and explain.

Before I can do this though, he grabs the front collar of my shirt and pulls me towards him. My eyes are wide as our lips meet and I hear myself gasping in shock.

His tongue moves inside my mouth.

My eyes are falling shut.

I feel his hands traveling around my thin figure again.

I'm lowered to the ground.

It feels _so_ good.

His hands are traveling up under my shirt now and I'm shuddering, arching and moaning his name into our kiss. I don't know when I began acting like this, but I know I don't want it to stop anytime soon.

But still…

We don't _know_ each other.

I move my arms from around his neck (I wonder how they ended up there) and take a hold of his hands, stopping them from reaching more sensitive areas; I don't think I'll be able to stop this if it continues like this –if he continues to touch me like this.

"Let go of my hands, yeah" he growls into my ear, his tone needy.

I think he knows I'm needy too.

"No" I reply; I realize I'm panting, "you have to listen to me"

"Shut up, yeah! You want this" Deidara hisses, "you want me, yeah"

I can't deny it; I want him so much… so bad.

"Yes, I do… and that's why you have to listen"

I feel him relax and I let my grip on his hands loosen before I move them up and around his neck again, running them through his blonde hair.

It's soft. I bet he showered today.

"I think we should be friends, get to know each other and then… then we get back together" I tell him silently as I feel his hands retreat and leave my skin.

"Why, yeah?" he asks and our eyes meet, "why can't we just be together?"

I stay silent for a few seconds as I think about what to say; I already know what I want, but I don't know how to word it. He's probably getting quite impatient already, I know I would've.

"I want this to last… so we need to get to know each other; we can't do that if we continue having sex" I reply.

He sigh and leans down before he nuzzles my neck, "how long, yeah?"

I think about it; I already know neither of us can stay near without really touching for long. This is one of the reason as to why this break up´ is important; relationships isn't all about sex and physical attention.

"Christmas"

Deidara stares in disbelief and I stare back with confusion.

"That long, yeah?!"

I nod.


	12. Chapter 12

**This time it's Deidara's point of view; he needs a few chapters here and there :3**

* * *

I inwardly kick myself in the ass... again; I'm staring at him through the window in my kitchen, just like I did before I even bothered to meet him.

I sigh.

He's been walking out with the trash every day since our break up, and every day I eye his face, his neck and arms for any kind of love bite or bruise not made by me. This is a bit hard to see though, since they're pretty much the same. I tend to remember where I mark him though, and that does help a lot.

Satisfied to see there's none other than some on his throat (I _know_ I made those), I tilt my head to the side as he walks back towards the house.

I guess it's time for me to admit I'm staring at his ass, right?

I don't know why I am though (other than the fact that I find his butt quite cute), but I think it may have something to do with the way he walks; for some reason his hips keep swaying lightly, but it's nothing like women does it… I find his way of walking so much hotter than anyone else's.

I chuckle lightly; if I tell him that he'd probably go beet red and look away to hide it from me. I'd proceed by lifting his face up and kiss him deeply, slide my tongue into his mouth and make him breathless.

Make him moan.

Pant.

Beg.

Scream.

I curse.

How am I supposed to survive tomorrow? I have to walk over the street, get him and then drive him to school. How the hell can he expect me to keep my hands to myself? That isn't my biggest problem though; how can he act like nothing? How can he not want me to touch him? How come he hasn't been calling me these last two days? Seriously, what if he suggested this friend thing to be with someone else?

I turn away from the window as I silently tell myself I have to stop overreacting; Sasori likes me. He _loves_ me. He won't leave me for anyone.

I let a sigh escape between my lips as I realize something; I'm obsessed; I can't stop thinking about him; he's everywhere.

I pout rather childishly and walk into my living room, where I flop down on the couch. A second later I realize I have to get back up to turn on the TV.

"Damn it, fucking hell… fuck the world, yeah!" I shout angrily and roll my body around so my face is downwards, buried in the soft pillows of the couch.

I let out a frustrated sigh and close my eyes; some sleep should do me nothing but good right now, especially in my current obsessive state.

- - - - - - -

I think it's around six when I wake up, this is not by myself though, but by a certain someone. I tilt my head to the side and stare at him as he smiles down at me.

I have the sudden urge hug him tightly; just pull him down with him and lie still.

I do just that.

He squeaks in surprise as he loses his balance and falls on top of me. I smile and wrap my arms around his waist as I hear him talk to me, probably protesting.

Too bad I'm still too sleepy to hear it properly.

I nuzzle his neck and kiss the skin lightly and I forget all about our little break up. I think he's forgetting as well; his voice is nowhere to be heard and he's gripping my shirt with his hands, probably trying to stop himself from wanting it.

I grin; he wants it- me- us.

But then again, isn't that why he wanted us to get to know each other better before we continued as lovers? I feel my grin fade from my face and I let out a sigh as I release him.

"Sorry darling, yeah"

I look down at him and he's staring back at me; his face is red, but I don't know if it's from embarrassment, want or pleasure. Surly it can't be the latter; I merely kissed his neck once.

"It's okay, nothing to worry about" he replies and I nod.

I hope Christmas comes early this year.


	13. Chapter 13

It's been a week and I can clearly see Deidara having problems already (he's actually been having trouble for a while now). This is making me both happy and sad, the latter because I don't know if it's me or my body he wants. The former pretty much explains itself; he wants me and that need is making me feel loved.

It's not only hard for him though; I'm also, though not as much, starting to have the need to touch and pretty much just feel him above me. I know we can't continue to stay together right now though. We really have to get to know each other better first.

I let out a sigh as I enter the classroom, my classmates greet me and I wave slightly back, putting up a small smile as I do this. As mentioned it's been a week since Deidara and I `broke up´ and it has therefore been a week since school began as well. He was right when he told me I'd get friends eventually, but I haven't gotten around thanking him just yet; I'm not sure how I should do it without making it awkward, because surly he won't remember he even said that to me.

Before I could simply give him a kiss, but I can't do such a thing right now; it'll get out of hand and we'll end up waking up naked in his car the next day. And as much as I want it to happen, I can't let it.

Fortunately there's only been one time that we've both actually been close doing something. It was a few days ago, he'd been lying on the couch and I woke him up; my grandmother wanted him to come over for dinner. Anyway, we ended up on his couch, Deidara holding around me, nuzzling and kissing my neck.

I sigh at the thought of that. I hadn't wanted to stop him and I kind of regret doing so; being together with him makes my life much easier than it is now; I'm having trouble not to hug him whenever we meet.

But that's normal, right?

- - - - - - - -

I couldn't believe it at first when my grandmother told me to pack some stuff and get Deidara to do the same; it's weekend and the old hag has decided for all of us to drive to the country, which means I'll be seeing my uncle and cousins again.

That's not the best part though; did I ever tell my uncle owns a horse farm? No? Ah well, at least that's not unknown information anymore.

So why is this so good?

Simple… I love riding; I've been doing it since I was a small kid. I know some people deem it as `girly´, but it really isn't; how many people can sit straight on a horse while galloping and jumping over whatever's in the way?

There's yet another reason to why I want to go though; I doubt Deidara can ride.

Despite the fact that I like him- love him, I have a great urge to see him fail in something I can do. Because really, I'm much shorter than him, he beats me at sports (we've tried playing some things… trust me, it didn't go all too well for me), painting, math and all the other crap I thought I was really good at.  
I'll probably be over it once I get my laugh though, so I really can't wait to see him fall and ask for help.

I smile as I cross the street between Deidara's and my grandmother's house and get close enough to knock on his door, which I do without any hesitation.

The door is opened and Deidara is seen on the other side only seconds later. He stares down at me in slight surprise and cracks a smile. I return it as I look at him  
properly. Apparently he only just woke up; his hair is messy and the eyelids look like they want to fall back down. Also, he is only wearing a pair of pants. Strangely enough this doesn't make me uncomfortable; it's almost as if I'm used to it –which I am far from.

His hand reaches out for me and ruffles my red locks, catching me off guard; I hadn't thought he would do this. Not that I don't like it (I love it), but with his struggles to keep his hands off me I was expecting a hug or something.

"Hey darling, yeah" he greets and turns, leaving the door open for me as he walks into his bedroom, "what are you doing here this early on a Saturday?".

I flop down on his couch and rest my head against one of the pillows as I close my eyes, "getting you".

"Why, yeah?"

"We're driving out to the country and the hag wants you to come along" I reply simply as I reopen my eyes and roll over so I can see parts of his bedroom through the open door.

"And you don't?" He asks, catching me off guard yet again, "I'm hurt darling".

I think I would believe him if he hadn't put some of the joking tone into his voice. I can't help but to blush slightly though.

"I didn't say that"

"I know, yeah" he replies rather smugly. I think he knows I'm blushing and he's probably grinning because of it. I would be as well though; I've been quite distant with him for a while now, not given him much of my attention despite the fact that we're supposed to be friends and get to know each other.

I'm just afraid I'll give in to him if I stay to close.

"When are we leaving, yeah?" Deidara asks as he comes out of the bedroom only to move into the bathroom instead.

"As soon as you're ready"

- - - - - - - -

We are both sitting in the back, which is very okay by me, but, due to all the things the hag wanted to bring, we're pretty clamped up; his shoulder is touching mine and my hand is more or less on top of his.

I want to move away so I won't have to hide a blush or a smile, but I can't, because even if I do turn away I will still be touching him. And if I actually turn, turn; his hand will be on my ass, which will make things even worse for me… and probably him as well.

Oh God how I want to fuck; I mean, this is perfect! The only thing to do is unzip his zipper, pull his cock out, pull my pants down slightly and ride him. It doesn't matter if my grandmother is driving either; she's deaf from time to time and I know I can keep my moans in… I think.

Shit.

I look down slightly and close my eyes in shame and embarrassment at the sight. I can't really get how those thoughts managed to get me this turned on and horny.

Surly this trip can't end as well as I hoped it would.


	14. Chapter 14

I nibble on my bottom lip as I try to cross my legs to hide something very embarrassing. I'm being as discreet as I can, but it's difficult seeing as we're so close already; surly he will notice the slightest movement.

I can't do this too quickly either, moving my leg up and over the other one will cause movement between my legs and it will probably brush against my thighs, which, unfortunately, will make me let out either a moan or a whimper, and this will get me Deidara's attention.

I'm quite sensitive like that.

In any other situation I would've done almost anything, even move my leg fast and moan, but right now I can't show him how difficult it is for me not to be able to be around him like I used to.

I go from nibbling on my lip to biting it softly as I try to come up with a better way to hide it. This isn't very easy though, seeing as these (in any other situation) wonderful images of Deidara bringing me down on him keeps repeating themselves in my head.

I spare him a glance and immediately regret it as I find him looking back at me, smirking smugly to himself. I don't know how long he's been staring at me, but I do know he has noticed the little bulge down there. Well, I wouldn't have known this hadn't it been for him, who just had to meet my eyes and then look down.

I bet I'm beet red just about now and it doesn't help that he's leaning closer t me.

"I can fix that, yeah" he whispers into my ear, causing me to shudder.

"No"

This car trip isn't going to be any fun.

- - - - - - - -

An hour later my grandmother finally pulls over and stops in front of a house I recognize immediately. It isn't too big; a simple square with grass and a couple of flowers up against the walls. A little to the side stands a barn. It's twice the size of the house and, if I remember right (which I of course do), there's six horses in there.

The thought of those horses makes me forget about the trip to get here for a second, but as Deidara comes up beside me I can't help but to become quite embarrassed. Fortunately though, the front door to the house is opened and my only known female cousin appears in the door way. I toss away all of my worries and smile at her as she practically flies through the air towards me.

Temari throws her arms around my neck and hugs me tightly. I bet our position is a bit weird; I'm still short and my cousin is just a tad taller than me. But, now that I think about it properly, it isn't really all that weird- just uncomfortable.

"Oh my God Sasori, it's so good to see you again!" she squeals and tightens her grip on me, making it a little harder to breathe.

I manage to lift my head out of her breasts and look up at her with a small smile; it's fun to see her so eager, especially over me; the two of us never really had that good of a relationship after all.

"It's only been a bit over two weeks, Temari" I reply as I manage yet another thing; to get out of her death grip.

I don't stay untouched for long though; as soon as the girl let go of me and move aside a new person, also taller than me, pull me into yet another hug. The difference between this one and the previous one is that I'm now being crushed by a guy around my own age, which means the guy, most likely Kankuro, has a stronger grip on me than Temari had. This also means it won't be too easy to get out of his grip.

"You're crushing him, yeah" Deidara suddenly states with a rather dull tone in his voice. I can't understand why unless, of course, he's bored already, but I doubt it; he's good at finding things to do to make the time go by faster.

I feel my oldest male cousin lift his face from my red locks and I briefly wonder when we had ended up in such a position.

I suddenly realize why Deidara was acting so cold, which makes me smile; I'm happy to know he's still protective of me despite the fact that we're `just´ friends.

"And you are… ?" my cousin ask him with the same cold, dull tone.

For some reason I don't think Kankuro and Deidara will get along very well.

- - - - - - - -

"Where are we going, yeah?" Deidara ask as we walk out of the house.

Dinner ended just a few minutes ago and I'm leading him out to the barn. I want him to see the horses as soon as possible and hopefully he'll agree to ride them as well.

I don't think he'll say no though, especially since it's me who's asking. But then again, some uninvited children just had to come along. It's not that I don't want them to, I do care for them after all, but I care about Deidara as well and I don't want him to fall off the horse while they are there.

Not that I'm expecting him to fall off or anything!

I'm just merely guessing he can't ride since he's from the city. That, and he's a boy. Boys don't ride… except for me… and other horse loving people.

"The barn" I reply and turn my head to face him, giving him a small smile.

He blinks in return, apparently shocked to find me smiling at him. I don't understand why though… it was just a smile. I let the thoughts of this go as he returns my smile with one of his many grins.

"And what're we going to do there darling, yeah?"

I open my mouth to reply, but I don't get any word out as Kankuro suddenly comes up between us with an angry scowl on his face.

"What the hell, yeah?!" Deidara snaps angrily as he glares at my cousin.

I can hear Temari's giggle in the background and I realize she must know what's going on with my oldest male cousin. With this in mind I ignore Deidara and Kankuro as they begin bickering about something (it's a silent conversation, so I can't hear it even if I try to) and slow my pace so I end up walking next to the girl and her youngest brother, Gaara.

She smiles at me and I return it half-heartly, "want to share the information you're holding on to so dearly?".

Temari's smile turns into a smug grin and she pulls me closer to herself. I take it she's going to do some whispering or something.

"Only if you tell me what kind of relationship you have with mr. sexy over there, shortie" she says and giggles at my reaction.

I just had to blush, hadn't I?

"We're friends" I state, not sure if this is good enough for her.

It's true though; Deidara and I are nothing but friends, but then again, we're waiting with the love until we get to know each other better.

"The truth _darling_"

But that was the truth, idiot!

"We're getting to know each other and if it works out the way we planned we're getting together" I tell her silently in slight irritation; she always manages to get what she wants from me.

"You actually planned that?"

"Yes" I sigh.

"And what if one of you find someone else?"

I look at her with big eyes.

I never thought something like that could ever happen! But what if it does? What if I suddenly change and start to like someone else, or if Deidara does?

I don't even want to think about it. Ever. It won't happen, not with us.

"Then we do" I reply simply, "but believe me when I tell you we love each other"

"Then why do you need to get to know each other first?"

She's beginning to get irritating and I look over to Kankuro and Deidara to check if they're listening to our conversation. Luckily they aren't; the two of them are still busy fighting over something.

"I thought uncle told you this, but apparently not… Deidara and I met five months ago, had sex and I left" I take a short pause, "then I came back here, we met again and just got together; we don't know each other well enough and he agrees".

Temari nods, "when you say it like that I understand pretty well".

Thank God.

"So, you going to tell me your secret?" I ask again as I hope to actually get a real answer this time.

She giggles childishly and nods.

"You may not have noticed, but Kankuro has, and still is, more than obsessed with you"

I almost stop walking, but continue moving my legs seeing as it will look suspicious if the two in front suddenly turn around.

"Like a crush?" I ask, my voice lower than the last time I voiced a question.

In reply I get a nod, making me look from Temari to the two teens' backs. I would never have imagined something like this from Kankuro, the guy who is one of my best friends and family.

Things will surly become slightly more awkward between Kankuro and myself from now on.

- - - - - - -

Deidara has finally given up arguing with my cousin (and vice versa) and is now watching me saddle a dark brown horse.

My previous lover (I've only had two so far) bought him for me and named him Cole, because it reminded him of the colour black, which is the colour of its irises.

I loved him very much, my boyfriend that is, but it had to end. Not that any of us broke up; he was rundown two years ago and didn't make it. I still find the memory of him quite sad, but I moved on a while ago and rarely cry about it.

I finish preparing the horse and pet it as I smile lightly. Then I move around to face Deidara, who's looking at me with a small smile of his own.

"I'm not riding that, yeah" he states, still smiling.

"Fine by me" I reply, "I'll just have to ride on this horse alone then.

There's a few seconds of silence and I fight with mouth to keep smiling sweetly and not smirk or let out any snicker.

"We're sharing, yeah?"

"Of course" I think I say it with a bit more `wasn't that obvious?´ tone in my voice than needed, but I doubt it'll make any difference.

I know I wanted to make him ride on his own, but after I got to learn about my cousin's crush on me I want to keep Deidara as close as possible. That way we'll both be happy and Kankuro will see I already have someone… kind of.

"I guess I'll be riding then, yeah" he says and grins widely at me.


	15. Chapter 15

I easily climb up on the horse and, just as easily as I got up, seat myself in the saddle. I then turn to Deidara and smile lightly as I keep the horse from moving too much (Cole tends to start walking already when I'm up).

"You can get up yourself, right?" I ask him and he nods.

I'm not exactly sure how we'll both with in this small saddle… but then again, I am quite thin and so is he; I've seen people fatter than both me and Deidara together ride a horse in a saddle like this.

His right arm reaches up and takes a hold of the saddle in front of me before he lifts himself up. His foot comes around the horse and he sits down behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist once he's comfortable. I am about to tell him to remove his arms, but stop when I remember he has to hold onto something.

I tighten my grip on the reins and give the horse permission to begin walking. I feel his arms tighten around me slightly, causing me to smile.

It's almost as if we're a couple again and the thought of that is making me very happy; I'm quite sick of not being with him. But that is to be expected… I do care much for him after all.

I can hear other horses behind us, so I'm guessing everyone else wanted to ride as well. I'm not quite sure why though, and I'm torn between two reasons. One; they wanted to keep us company just for fun. Or two; they want to keep Deidara from doing anything.

For some reason I'm drawn towards the latter.

Both Gaara and Kankuro comes up besides us with their horses and smiles at me. I can't help but to notice the oldest of the two giving Deidara a scowl and slight a glare.

It surprises me when he, probably to get Kankuro back, tighten his grip on me and nuzzles my neck, kissing the skin softly.

I know I'm blushing, Deidara is grinning smugly, Kankuro is glaring harder and Gaara's totally ignoring it all. I think I saw him sparing me a thoughtful glance though… and probably a small smile as well. I guess it's either because I'm sharing a horse with Deidara or because there's two people fighting for me.

It's obvious for Gaara who I want to be with though; I can see it in his face. That, and my lookalike cousin _always_ knows things like this.

I let my eyes travel to Kankuro for a second and I'm glad to see he has turned to look ahead, something I probably should do as well. Letting out a small sigh I look in front and smile as I make Cole speed up. He's running now, ahead of everyone and the wind hitting my face feels so refreshing.

I hear Deidara laugh behind me and I let my previously shown smile come back to my lips; I just learnt something new, something that should've been obvious from the start, but wasn't seen anyway.

He likes speed -Deidara likes speed.

With this new information in my head I speed up even more, gaining more laughing noises from him. What I didn't expect though, was for Deidara to lean close to my ear and whisper a single word before going down and kissing my neck.

"_Sorry, yeah."_

He sucks on it, probably to make a hickey. He grinds my skin between his teeth. I moan and close my eyes for a second as I lean back into his body, clearly telling him I love the attention.

I feel him grin into my neck and his hand moves from around my waist to under my shirt and up. One of his fingers run over my nipple and a second later another one joins it. He plays with it and I moan again.

My eyes are only half open and my hold on the reins isn't as tight as I would've liked them to be.

I don't know if he knows what he's doing, we're on a horse after all and I have to control it to stay safe. My question is answered when his other hand moves down. I throw my head back as his hand rubs circles over my cock. For a second I'm glad it's not skin to skin, I think I would've buckled and gone crazy then. But, as this second passes, I find myself wishing his hand was down my pants.

"S-stop." I manage to say between a pant and a gasp.

I know my request can't really be taken seriously since I'm reacting the way I am; panting and moaning his name.

Fortunately though, for the both of us, his hands retreat from their current places to back around my waist and he holds me closely to himself. I realize his face is buried in my neck so I tilt my head to the side, giving him more room.

"I'm so sorry, yeah." Deidara tells me and I nod in reply.

"It's okay."

"No it's not, yeah,"

He's angry… with himself.

I pity him.

"We agreed to be friends, but I can't control myself around you, yeah!" he says bitterly, "It's so hard to! I want to be around you and do what you want me to, but it's so hard not to touch you!"

He's blaming himself… and for something he can't even control. I feel really bad now, especially since I was the one to suggest this; it's obvious we both want -need- each other. Even love each other.

But still… what if we get into a fight? We could end up breaking up within a second and I don't want that to happen; I can actually see myself being with Deidara for as long as I live.

I almost laugh at that thought… you only hear of shit like that in romance stories; it rarely happens in real life, which is exactly why I need us to get to know each other.

"I love you too." I mutter softly, but loud enough for him to hear. I feel his body tensing and I know he's probably very confused now, something I won't blame him for.

"Then why, yeah…?"

I swallow hard. What if he can't get why?

"So we can stay together." I try to explain; though it's a quite short explanation I think he'll get some of it.

It stays silent for a while and then he presses his lips to my neck again, only this time it's more loving than anything.

"Okay, yeah."


	16. Chapter 16

I don't know what to say about the weekend, especially when one of my classmates asked what I had been doing since I wasn't downtown once. If I remember right I told him I was sick and couldn't leave the house. I don't think they bought it, but they didn't say anything about it.

I don't know why I lied either, because there was no reason too. I could've told the guy that I was visiting my uncle, but no, that would surly bring back annoying, but pleasant, memories.

Not that I want to forget it all, it's just a bit embarrassing and the thought of anyone in my family seeing such a thing happen just makes it worse.

I didn't get much time alone, or even to talk, with Deidara after the riding because of Kankuro, who constantly sat himself between us or stole my attention in some way. I know this annoyed Deidara to no end even though we've, once again, decided to stay as friends until Christmas. I do admit I was annoyed as well though, so I won't blame him in any way.

But really, who wouldn't be annoyed with a teenage boy who tried to win your heart when he knew very well that you already like someone else?

It's only ten minutes into class and our teacher is already having us do a small quiz. They are always rather easy to do, so I tend to finish them quickly, which I'll probably do now as well seeing as we're learning about the body's movement at the moment. It's not to brag or anything, but I'm quite good when it comes to anatomy.

Also, I'm in a good mood and will, because of that, work even harder than usual.

The reason for this is a piece of paper we were given only a few minutes ago; we always have P.E today, but, unfortunately, our gym teacher is sick and can't meet up, nor have they found a substitute.

Receiving the paper with the questions I pick up my pencil and look at the first, all the while I'm smiling lightly to myself.

_We have three types of joints. What are they? _

I quickly write down the different names and move on to the next one, which is even easier than the previous one.

I'm not sure how I remember all of this stuff; it just gets stuck in my brain and refuses to leave. It's the same with science. I really hate the subject, but it's stuck in my mind so I can't forget it no matter what. It's really frustrating.

I finish the quiz and place my pencil down on my desk as I look up, sparing the teacher a small glance before I move onto something more interesting.

- - - - - - - -

Even though they told us there was no P.E today I'm still heading in the gym's direction. Now this may seem weird since I have a free period, but, unfortunately, our principal just had to manage to get a substitute in the last minute.

It's quite irritating and I know I'm pouting despite the fact that I'm walking together with some of my classmates (usually such a situation is embarrassing to me). I can hear them clearly talk about how much they hate P.E though, so I doubt I'm doing anything to be laughed at.

"How come we couldn't just get a free period?" One of the many girls asks, her question sounding very much like a whine. I turn my head to the side, facing her and finding it to be Christina. She's quite the whiny type.

"Because they found a substitute, duh, isn't that obvious?" Someone else retorted.

"Hopefully it's an idiot though- a blond idiot who'll listen to us no matter what." I say, meaning every word that leaves my mouth.

Suddenly an arm wraps around my shoulders and I squeak as I'm pulled against someone's chest. It's a man, much taller than me and I know, based on these facts, it's our substitute.

Apparently luck isn't on my side today.

"Almost, yeah," He says and I immediately recognize the voice, "Though I doubt I'm far from stupid."

I blush, my class laughs and I _know_ Deidara's grinning.


	17. Chapter 17

Step to the right, swirl, bend, up again.

Catch the ball, hand it to a teammate, go back to the far end.

I've been doing this throughout the whole lesson, but I'm still not hit, so I guess it's okay to contin- I let out a squeak as a ball, thrown by Deidara (of course), flies by my hip. If I hadn't been quite quick to dodge, that ball would've hit me without doubt.

I can't really remember how I moved just now, but as long as it kept me from getting hit I don't really care; I haven't been in yet and I'd rather not end up there. I'll never hit anyone, not even if I put in some effort.

Then again, I need to hit Deidara to win this, don't I?

Yes, I believe that's the whole point of this; to hit each other.

I look up at him, scowl probably evident on my face. He's grinning at me, silently telling me what both of us know; Deidara will win.

Without really registering it I receive a ball from one of my teammates and I throw it.

- - - - - - - -

I walk out of the school building at the end of the day, usual bored expression plastered on my face, only now it has a hint of embarrassment, anger and hurt (I believe so) in it. Then again, who wouldn't be embarrassed after something like _that_.

No, Deidara didn't do anything sexual harassing during the rest of the lesson (I think he wanted to though), it was much, much worse. He laughed of me –not with me, not anything like that; he laughed_ of_ me.

I sigh.

I'm not even supposed to care what other people think of me, but here I am, cursing my stupid, stupid throwing skills because I actually care what that stupid blond thinks of me.

I'm never going to throw anything again.

Suddenly a hand wraps around my wrist and I'm pulled in the opposite direction. I turn to avoid tripping and find Deidara in front of me.

"What do you want?!" I snap as I try to pry my hand out of his grasp. I stop though, as he tangles our fingers together.

"Apologize for earlier, yeah." He replies simply, giving me one of his smirks.

"Then apologize and let go of me!" I growl out. I realize my scowl has turned into a glare.

"No, yeah."

"Let go!"

I'm yanked closer to him, the sudden action causing me to let out a squeak and close my eyes. I open them again and I find Deidara's own right in front of mine.

"I laughed of you, yeah," He mutters silently, "I saw the look on your face. It hurt you."

I feel myself calming down and I avert my eyes from his, though I still manage to see the smirk on his face when he pulls away and continues walking, still holding my hand.

"I want to make it up to you, yeah, so don't fight me."

- - - - - - - - -

When he first helped me into his car, I thought we would be heading back to White Street, but apparently I was very wrong; I'm led into one of these fancy restaurants I never thought Deidara, of all people, would take anyone to, especially not me.

"Dei, I doubt food will do you any good." I say softly as I look around.

I have to admit though, this is quite nice of him.

"It's not like I can hold you close and kiss you, yeah." He replies simply and leads me over to a two-mans table.

After about a minute of discussing the different foods, a waitress comes over to us. We give her our orders and she leaves just as quickly as she came, barely saying a word about anything.

Despite this being a restaurant, I ordered a plate with chips and chicken-wings along with a glass of coke. Deidara wasn't far from my order, though he took rice and salad instead of fries. I don't think the woman liked taking such orders; she looks quite young, so getting orders like that can't have been much more than embarrassing in her mind (I think girls think a lot about what makes them look good and what doesn't, though I'm not sure how chicken-wings and fries are bad; she just looked really irritated when she heard our orders).

I let out a soft sigh and look over at Deidara, who's staring right back at me. "This'll be romantic, yeah. The two of us on each side of a small table, candles between us and chicken." He said, grinning at me happily, though there's a hint of smugness in it as well. I understand why quite easily; I gave up and came with him, meaning I've already forgiven him (which I have, I'm just too proud and stubborn to show it, I think). Then again, he practically dragged me into the restaurant, so I'm not so sure why he feels victorious; he knows he's a faster runner and stronger, so catching up to me if I decided to escape wouldn't take too long. But…I did give up on trying and I'm not acting angry or hurt anymore.

"Very much so." I reply, meaning it (despite the situation), but at the same time not really meaning it… if that makes any sense.

The food arrives a few minutes later and both of us begin eating without any hesitation. We eat in silence, but I know Deidara wants to start a conversation with me. I don't really get why he isn't, but I don't say anything. I have nothing to say, nor can I think of anything. So instead, while I eat and stare at Deidara (this action is, for some reason, unknown to myself), I find myself fantasying over riding –about what Temari told me.

I still can't believe Kankuro actually likes me, but I bet Deidara knows and believes; whenever my cousin's name is mentioned, his face darkens and he gives me this… possessive expression, telling me I'm his, even if we're just friends (for now). I don't like Kankuro though, not like that. I've only been in love once (still are, by the way… as if that isn't obvious enough), so I know what it feels like.

"What are you thinking about, yeah?" Deidara asks, immediately bringing me out of my train of thoughts. I blink once and focus on him properly, my nutty brown eyes staring into his ocean blue ones.

"Kankuro." I reply simply before opening my mouth again, this time to pop one of the many fries into my mouth; it's small and elastic, so it fits without meeting anything but the tongue in my mouth. And then it's crushed by my teeth. I'm still looking at Deidara and his expression went hard just a second ago.

I find it kind of cute, actually, that he's so… possessive and protective.

"Why?" He questions before he looks out of the nearest window.

"Temari told me that he likes me, so I can't help but to wonder why."

"Tsk, don't be an idiot, of cou- wait, you didn't know, yeah?"

"Should I have?" I ask.

"It's pretty obvious he does, so yeah."

Oh…

My bad then. I am kind of dense at times though, I guess.

I finish my meal and lean back into the chair as Deidara does the same before following my example and leans back as well.

"Thanks for the food, Dei."

He grins.

"Always, darling, yeah."


	18. Chapter 18

It's been a week, and if I may add, a quite tough one.

Two days after my little incident in P.E, I got to learn that Kankuro is transferring here in a few days. Gaara is coming too, but I'm okay with him; Deidara wants me to stay away from my brown haired cousin as much as possible, but that'll be difficult seeing as both Gaara and Kankuro are going to be living with me and grandmother Chiyo.

On the positive side though, Deidara will have to come by every day and paint their room (they're sharing); neither of the two wants their room to be in a bright pink colour. I'll admit I wouldn't have wanted to live with such a room either, hence why I got mine painted (that one was pink as well).

I sigh and roll over in the bed as I curl up more and hide my head underneath the quilt together with the rest of my body. Now that I'm thinking about the colour of my room, I can't help but to think of Deidara as well. Deidara and that stupid deal of ours. We're only in the mid of September, so there's still a long time until Christmas, something the both of us can growl about whenever this fact decides to pop into our heads once again.

Rolling over again, I let my head pop back out before I stare at the alarm clock on my night stand table. It rang already a good while ago, but I didn't bother to get up then. Not that I want to get up now either, but still, I should; class started already half an hour ago and I will have to walk all the way (Deidara called a while ago as well, but I didn't pick up, so I bet he just left or something).

I'm not feeling very tired anymore (which leaves me with no reason to stay in bed), but I don't want to move away from the wonderful light my quilt gives me. Despite this though, I crawl out before I immediately begin dressing myself; it may not be winter yet, but it's still a little cold outside, and my room just happens to take in all that cold (I think I always forget to close the window, or I may have some hatch somewhere in here).

I walk into the kitchen and over to the stove, where my grandmother, who's looking at me with a surprised expression from her place by the dining table, has left a casserole with fruit soup. I've never eaten such a soup before, but I can't honestly say I want to try; it doesn't exactly look any good. I don't have any time to make something else though.

Not that I should be stressing, that's just stupid seeing as I'm already late, I just don't have the patience to actually make myself some decent food.

"Didn't school start fourty-five minutes ago?" the old hag asks, though I rather think she's just stating it. I simply nod though, instead of giving any kind of stupid reply in return (I don't have _time_ for that either).

-------

When I finally manage to get downtown I head for the school immediately. For some reason though, I never get through the first street. Um, well, it's not really for `some´ reason, but for someone. I see him through the window on the other side of the street, running around the painting show for whoever is in there, or maybe he's just trying to exercise.

He doesn't notice me, so after about half an hour of just standing here and looking (quite) stupid, I begin to walk again.

I don't think I'll be seeing much of Deidara today, and this fact is a bit depressing, but I guess we need some time away from each other despite the fact that we haven't seen each other much this week. I miss him, just to get that straight, but this was my idea to begin with, so I just have to cope with it.

Unfortunately though, I will probably get even less time with him once Gaara and Kankuro moves in. If my brown haired cousin really does like me (which everyone else says he does) I doubt he'll give me any chance to be with Deidara.

I have to get a hold of him soon and ask him if we can do something together. That way I can break the news for him as well, because I don't think he knows yet.

I can't say I actually look forward to tell him though. He's going to either become pissed, irritated or he'll just act very apathic… or over protective? Yes, I can see the latter happening.

Suddenly telling him doesn't seem so bad.

-------

"Linn is a hairstylist, and Phil is a regular customer. Before Phil leaves this day, Linn can't help but to notice the alcohol breath of the man. She asks him if he's been drinking today, and if it wouldn't be smart to let the car stay for the day. Phil shouts at her and leaves before she has the chance to say anything else. What should Linn do?" The teacher asks us, staring at me in particular. I think she's still a little annoyed that I showed up late just a little while ago.

I sit still, not opening my mouth or doing anything but waiting. My classmates can answer just as easily as I can anyway.

"Sasori?"

But apparently she wants me to do it. Old hag.

"Call the , you never said he drove away, so she can follow him and give him a ride home… or get a taxi." I reply as I stare out of the window.

"Yes, that's correct. Good job, Sasori." She says, giving me a smile I think. At least her voice makes it sound like she is.

She continues with a few questions after that, not really asking anything else from me. This, of course, suits me just fine as I continue to stare out of the window.

It's not much to see there, but it's at least better than staring at the white board or teacher, or any of my classmates for that matter.

The lesson ends fifteen minutes later and I leave the classroom with one of my newly gained friends. I follow her through one of the many corridors in the building. We're heading outside to talk so she can get her lungs filled with nicotine.

The cold air hits my skin for the second time today and I shiver lightly under its touch. Isabelle, my friend, smiles as she uses her lighter to light the cigarette. I step away from the smoke before it reaches me and stuff my hands into my pockets. I'm not very fond of the smell of the smoke, nor do I want my cilium to disappear. Not that they do right away (I think), but still.

"How was your weekend?" She asks me, looking around for any signs of teachers, looking through the glass on the door as well. Our school is nicotine free, so, obviously, smoking or any kind of stuff like that isn't allowed anywhere around the schoolyard.

"Good, I guess. Yours?"

"It was great. My boyfriend came here, so I had a lot more to do."

I nod, "He doesn't live here then?"

"Nope. A town near here, but he visits often and I go to see him as well." She replies, taking a drag of the brownish end of the cigarette before letting it all back out again.

"What about you, Sasori?"

I look at her with a confused expression; I just told her my weekend was good, so I can't really know what it is she's asking me about now.

Isabella smiles, "Do you have a girlfriend?"

"I'm gay." I reply and smile lightly.

She laughs, which is a little confusing to me. you don't laugh when you get such a thing thrown in your face, right? I sure as hell didn't laugh when I figured out that I am.

"Sorry, I couldn't help myself. You just don't seem like a gay guy." She explains, still laughing, though she's doing a much better job to contain her laughter now than she did only a minute or so ago. I guess that explains it why though, so I have no more questions to be answered.

"Then… do you have a boyfriend yet?" Isabella asks as she finish the cigarette. We slowly start walking towards the door.

"I guess. We're only dating though, if you can call it that."

"Is it that blonde; the guy who had us in P.E a week ago?"

I nod, "Yeah."

It's quiet as we walk through the corridor leading to our classroom. I really wish school will end soon, but I know very well it's still four hours left. God, it's only been a month or so since school started, and I'm already sick of it.

"Be careful with Deidara, Sasori." Isabella suddenly says, and I turn to look at her. What is she talking about now? Am I about to walk into something maybe?

"What do you mean?" I ask.

"Deidara has a reputation of being quite the player."


	19. Chapter 19

I grunt in annoyance and turn in my bed to face the wall, hoping this position is much, much better than the previous one. Unfortunately, it's not. In fact, and I hate this fact, it's not even close to comfortable.

When my nose first started running like a waterfall yesterday, I thought it was merely my allergies (yes, I do have it) pestering me once again. A day later though, my throat decided to be itchy and start hurting, I also gained a horrible headache. Before going to bed last night, I realized, to my utter horror, I'm ill.

My head is pounding in my head, nose is running and I'm coughing. I also can't help but to notice I'm cold, but sweating at the same time. I hope it's just a mere common cold, because if it is, then I can get better in a few days only… except for my cough, of course.

I feel the yucky mucus make its way out of my nose and I quickly turn towards my nightstand table. Reaching out with my hands in the dark, I fumble around to find the roll of toilet paper I know is there somewhere. Finally finding it, I yank some of it away from the roll and place it under my running nose, this effectively stopping the goo from getting out and onto my face.

I take a hold of my nose lightly and blow the mucus out before I fall down on the bed limply. This sucks so bad, and I being ill isn't the worst part either; Kankuro and Gaara will be coming today, so Sasori will have to deal with the lovesick teenager all by himself. This fact is really getting to me too, because I'm really scared he will screw our deal and relationship to be with that brown haired freak instead; the last time I tried to talk with my darling, he just walked away from me. That was four days ago, and he's been ignoring me since then.

I have no idea why, because I haven't done a shit (I think), but it worries me anyway. Well, of course it does, I do like Sasori after all.

A sigh escapes my lips and I sit up, in the process I let out a groan. My muscles are stiff, and my aching head isn't making it any better either. I have to get up though, and a shower will probably make me feel better too, so as long as I manage to walk into the bathroom, everything should be fine. After that… I'll dress myself in something nice and go see my little redhead.

He can't make me leave either, because someone has to paint and fix up that room; his grandmother hired me again (which I'm very grateful for) so I can be close to Sasori, and also to keep Kankuro away. I think Gaara will manage to do that fine by himself though.

My feet meet the cold floor and I shiver, wanting all but to get out of bed. I don't retreat though, and stand quickly. Not smart.

I feel my head spinning and beating more than ever. I clutch it and groan louder as I begin to pad towards the bathroom door. A shower and it will all be fine.

I slip my fingers into the boxer's hem and pull them down with ease as I listen to the water crashing with the floor. I take a step or two, and find myself under the water. Immediately feeling better, I pull the shower curtain closed.

My hand slides from my forehead and up over my head, through my long blonde hair. I love this feeling, but absolutely hate it when the time comes for me to leave this amazingly comfortable, little room. Not that I really can call it a room or anything; a mere curtain parts me from the rest of the bathroom.

---------

The trip over to Sasori's house (which is right across the street) didn't take long and I was knocking on the door only a second later. I fist the toilet paper (I brought some with me just in case my nose starts running again) in my hand as I wait for the door to open. Light steps can be heard coming towards the door and I, but right now it seems like it's taking so long for whoever it is to actually reach here.

Finally it opens and I crack a smile, though it quickly dies upon my lips as I start scowling instead. In front of me is none other than Kankuro. Oh joy.

"What do you want, blondie?" The hormonal demon asks me stiffly.

I scoff.

"I'm here to paint your room, shortie, so move out of my way, yeah."

He narrows his eyes at me.

"I asked what you wanted, not what you're doing here, dumbass."

"Same thing." I reply dully as I place my hands on my hips. Quite the feminine move, yes, but I think it fits me. "Though if you absolutely need to know, I want to have a few words with Sasori as well, yeah."

He's about to retort, but a hand is suddenly placed on his shoulder, making the now open mouth shut quickly. It's a quite old hand it seems, so it has to belong to Sasori's grandmother, Chyio.

It indeed does.

The old woman push Kankuro towards the living room and turns to me, smiling brightly.

"Before you start, Sasori is in his room at the moment. You know where it is, so you can get there yourself." She says, still smiling as she turns and walks away from me.

I step inside and close the door, looking around as if I've never been here before. I push the piece of toilet paper to my nose for a second, my eyes locking with the staircase as this happens. Removing the paper from my previously running nose, I walk over to the stairs and climb them easily.

It's quite irritating that Sasori's cousins are here already, but I simply ignore the thought for now; I'll have lots of different times to think about such stuff, because, right now, I'm going to figure out why my beloved redhead is avoiding me.

I still can't manage to figure it out. I mean, I did nothing, and I've barely seen him the past week. Maybe something happened? Did Kankuro tell Sasori something, a lie about me?

I want to believe that, but I doubt it's correct; my Sasori wouldn't believe his cousins lie about me, especially since the guy barely knows my name.

Finally I stop outside his room, and without hesitating for even a second, I open the door and step inside. He's lying on the bed, curled up and sleeping it seems. Quite the adorable sight. I make my way over to him quickly and sit down on the edge of the mattress.

He shifts slightly closer to me and I smirk smugly. Reaching out for his face, I stroke his cheek softly as my smug face becomes something softer and gentler. Suddenly he opens his eyes though, and I stop my hand's movements completely. He's looking up at me sleepily with such acute expression plastered on his face. I doubt he knows it's there.

"What are you doing here?" Sasori mutters softly as his eyes closes for a few seconds. They open again to revile those beautifully brown irises.

"Work, and I wanted to talk to you, yeah."

"Why?"

I sigh and roll my eyes. I scoop him up and place him in my lap, smirking lightly when I notice a small blush spreading across his face.

"You're ignoring me, darling, yeah." I state as I tighten my grip around him; I don't want him to leave now.

"Am not."

How cute isn't that? He's actually denying it, so something has to be seriously wrong; Sasori isn't one to deny something so overly obvious.

"Sasori, I…" I pause for a second, letting a frown claim my face, "I want to be with you, yeah, to complete this deal, but we can't get anywhere if you won't let me in to you."

He looks up at me and I smile down at him, though he merely turns his head back down. What in the world can have happened? Sasori's always been clingy with me even if we're not dating anymore.

"Come on. It's not like I'll do anything to you if you tell, yeah."

I can see him hesitating now, and it's almost as if he's fidgeting in my lap. I keep my grin to myself; he's about to tell. I know he is.

"I know that."

"Then why not enlighten me, yeah?"

"You don't want to know, Deidara."

I sigh. This is getting a little annoying, but I don't want to leave him like this and walk around wondering why he's ignoring me. I need to know.

"I do. I can't stand seeing you turn around and run every time I come around." I say and smile down at him softly. He looks back up at me. His face is blank, but I can clearly see the worry and sadness in his eyes. Then he looks back down, hiding his face in my chest, which is a good sign. Hopefully it makes him feel safe as well.

"One of my classmates… Isabella, if you know her, told me a rumor about you."

I raise one of my eyebrows, but I hold him closer rather than pushing him away to get a better view of him.

"I can tell you right away that there's a lot of rumors about me going around downtown, and even up here, yeah, but hardly half of them are true," I tell him as a smile grow on my lips once again, "so, which one did you hear, darling, yeah?"

Sasori moves closer to me and I can both see and feel him holding my shirt. It's a soft grip, almost as if he's sleeping and his fingers will lose the grip and fall any moment now.

The silence keeps filling up, but I'm not doing anything about it. Waiting for him to reply is the best after all, and I really don't want to push it; he can tell me if he wants to, I'm just here to help and let him know that he can come to me if he has to.

"She told me that you're a player…" he finally mutters, and I can't help but to burst out in laughter.

I think it shocks him how I can suddenly just do this, especially in this kind of situation (our fluffy moments are always very fluffy and never to be interrupted, apparently I managed to do so though).

"That, my dear sweet heart, is one of the many false ones!" I say between my many giggles, "just because my personality makes people think I go from person to person, doesn't mean I am. I just made one mistake at a party a few years back, got really drunk and ended up in a bed with two other people. Other teens around here thinks I went to bed with over half of the people, but I can assure you that that didn't happen, yeah."

Sasori looks up at me, the emotions from before long gone. I stare back down at him and wink once, causing him to blush ever so slightly. I love it how shy he gets from every single thing.

"You promise, Dei?"

"Of course, darling."

He smiles, I smile… and then I kiss his forehead.

I didn't really notice... but the moment I stepped into his room, my cold seemed to disappear, which is... kinda cool.


	20. Chapter 20

I _love_ showers.

They are the best in the world, and whenever I'm depressed, stressed, happy, or never felt better, I take a shower. I really hate turning off the water and stepping out though. It's the worst thing that can ever happen to a guy who loves just sitting in a corner of the shower for hours and feel the water splash onto his skin. Obviously, I'm one of those guys.

I slowly rinse the shampoo out of my hair as I let a content sigh escape past my almost closed lips. I'll admit it would've felt so much better had someone else been massaging my scalp like this (with someone else, I, of course, think of Deidara), but doing it myself works as well.

Deidara has been here since yesterday, working on my cousins' room. I haven't seen all that much of him since he was in my room, and I have a feeling it's because Kankuro is constantly guarding my bedroom door. I doubt that'd ever keep him from barging in anyway though.

I think he just wants to finish the job and get his money so he doesn't have to see my oldest cousin flirt with me all the time. I reject him, of course, but that doesn't really help much, and because Deidara and I aren't dating at the moment, I can't say I'm taken.

I sigh happily, but it is drowned by a sudden growl and a pang against the wall. I let out a squeak in surprise before I turn and open my eyes, staring at the sight in front of me with, probably, wide eyes.

I sit down quickly, leaning against the wall behind me as my legs and thighs covers me up. Deidara has pushed Kankuro up against the wall and if glaring at him harshly. My cousin's face is red from blushing, and he's looking a little irritated, but not struggling to get free just yet. Once it all settles down though, the brunette starts struggling.

"Let me go, you bastard!" He growls as he tries hard for free himself. Deidara refuses to let go of his shirt though.

"Like hell, yeah! You were staring at _my_ Sasori!"

"Yours?! Hah! Don't be an idiot, blondie; he's far from yours!"

"You wanna bet, tough guy?!" Deidara challenges. I can see his fists tighten on the brunette's clothes. He's angry, which is kind of cool. And not to mention sweet. I do hope Kankuro gets out of here without much beating and yelling though, but only because we're related (Deidara will get out of here without any damages, or I'll have to yell at him).

"Yeah, maybe I do, dumbass!"

I can see Deidara's lips curve upwards and into a smug grin, and then he looks at me. I can do nothing but to stare right back at him; I know what he wants me to do, and I really want to do it too, but I can't. I can't just lie and tell them both I belong to Deidara, because I don't. I want to, but I'm not his, not until Christmas. Telling them both, right now, that I belong to Deidara, will also make me believe it's true when it's not.

His mouth slowly turns into a thin line, and he frowns slightly. I hope he can understand why, and I also hope he won't get mad at me. Something tells me though, that Deidara will be a little irritated. It is, however, understandable.

Kankuro suddenly begins to chuckle, and it evolves into a light laugh. Deidara breaks our eye contact (which hurts a little bit. I believe it's because I know I hurt him) to glare at my cousin.

"That's what I said, Deidara. He isn't yours, and he doesn't want to be."

Deidara's arm moves back to form a punch. I reach out with my arm to stop it, but I quickly realize such a simple action never will be noticed.

"Dei!"

He stops.

"It's not true! I'm not yours right now, but I want to be. Both of us know that, so there's no need to prove it, and there's, most definitely, no need to believe anyone else's opinion."

Deidara pulls away from my cousin, and the younger is finally smart enough to walk out of the room. The door slides shut and my soon to be boyfriend finds a towel for me as I turn off the water. He opens the glass door and steps inside. He holds his arms out for me, between them hangs the towel.

I stand and walk into his embrace. Deidara wraps his arms around me, and successfully wrapping the towel all around me as well. Suddenly he lifts me up into his arms, and I let out a squeak in surprise. I know he's grinning right now, but I can't find myself minding today.

"You're such a girl, darling, yeah."

"Nu-uh. It's obvious which one of the two of us is the most girly looking."

--------

"Get in, yeah." Deidara says, and he motions towards the car, which is parked in our driveway. I simply nod in reply as I move towards the passenger seat.

"What are you doing?" He suddenly asks as I open the door. His eyebrow is raised in question, and I'm more than a little confused.

"… opening the door?"

He sighs, and it makes me feel kind of stupid. I have no reason to be though, right?

"Not what I meant. When I told you to get in, I meant into the driver's seat, yeah."

I freeze up completely. This isn't something I was expecting, especially not from Deidara, who rather enjoys driving –I know he does.

"No."

"Sorry, darling, but I'm not taking no for an answer."

"Too bad! I'm not getting in there!" I growl and send him a soft glare (I can never really glare at him truly), but he merely looks at me with a serious expression. Usually he will smile smugly or something.

Deidara starts walking towards me, and I can simply swallow a big lump that, somehow, has formed itself in my throat. It doesn't take too long before he stops in front of me. He stares down at me, the expression on his face never really changing; his eyes seem to be a bit softer now though, as if he understands what's wrong. But he doesn't, he can't know… I never told him.

Suddenly he scoops me up into his arms, and I yelp in surprise. I cling to him tightly, and I realize I've shut my eyes a long time ago. He's holding me tightly though, securely, in his arms, and I know he's not going to let me fall.

I feel him start to walk, and I only tighten my grip more. I'm not entirely sure why, but I think that Deidara, somehow, got to know about my little accident. It was probably my grandmother who told him, and even though this fact should be making me mad, it isn't; I don't want to keep anything about me from him… at least not important things.

His grip on me shifts slightly, and the car door opens. I finally open my eyes to look at him. He's still wearing that stupid expression of seriousness and determination, which means that, whatever I do, I won't win.

Deidara puts me down in the driver's seat and straps the belt around me before he fastens it. The door is then closed before he moves into the passenger seat.

A long and awkward silence is hanging around us, causing me to feel very nervous about this. One thing is for sure though, I'm not going to drive this car, none the less start it. Never. I know he's thinking the opposite though, so I'm a bit afraid of what he can come up with (Deidara knows very well that I can't keep refusing him forever).

I believe many minutes flies by before I hear him sigh in irritation. I know I may be impatient myself, but I don't want to do this, and even if I run, he will be able to catch up with me. Besides, he, obviously, knows where I live.

"Are you going to start up, or just sit there like another fool, yeah?"

I don't reply and I'm far from looking at him; I'm staring out of the glass in front of me, watching the street with little to no interest.

"Okay, Sasori, listen up." He says and sighs once again. It makes me feel a little like a burden and an annoyance, but I know I'm far from it. "Just because you made a mistake once, doesn't make it impossible for you to drive again, yeah. All you have to do is train, and get better; everyone makes mistakes. You just were unlucky to make one while driving."

"I'm not going to drive, Deidara."

"Why? You can't keep hiding forever."

"I don't have to. You can drive me to school."

"Darling… there will be days where I won't be able to drive you, yeah, so it'd be good if you can at least show me that you can still drive. That way I won't have to worry so much."

"You don't understand…"

"I know, but I do know what happened. I won't say it wasn't your fault, it was, but you can't continue living in the past because of that, yeah."

I finally look at him, and the moment I do, I see his expression change into surprise. I think I may be crying. That, or I'm simply looking guilty.

"I could've killed someone!"

He looks away from me for a second, but then he turns back to me and leans forwards. Quickly, but softly, he presses his lips to mine. Only after a second though, Deidara pulls back, leaving me with a feeling between shock, happiness and confusion.

"But you didn't, and you've learned your lesson. You learned something, so take that knowledge into use, and become a much better driver, yeah."

I stare at him as I swallow a huge lump in my throat. I'm nervous once again. He's smiling at me now though, and it makes me feel safer; a serious Deidara is… scary stuff seeing as I mostly see him with smug expressions.

Carefully I start the machine and my fingers wrap around the wheel. I look up into the ceiling as I bite my lip softly. As I start to give the engine gas, I bring the clutch up. It's been so long since I did any of this, despite this fact though, I'm out on the road after only a few seconds.

"See, yeah? So far so good. Turn left here."

I can only smile nervously, but I know he's grinning from ear to ear.


	21. Chapter 21

**Ummm... I've had the flu...?**

**Well, I did, but yah, enough with the excuses. I brought you sex though, so forgive me :P  
**

* * *

I didn't drive much again after that, but Deidara still won't stop trying to get me behind the wheel. I may have managed to drive perfectly fine just a few days ago, but that doesn't mean I'm feeling secure about it. In fact, I rather hate it. Driving, that is. It's kind of the same with the cars, but not so much seeing as it all depends on the driver; nothing more, nothing less.

Besides, it doesn't really matter if I don't drive; Deidara still does and I doubt he'll stop with it anytime soon. Also, as long as we remain together (friends or as a couple, though the latter is, of course, what I want), I will most likely get where I want when I have to. An example is today; it's after school and work and whatever, but I'm still going back to that prison, and he's going to take me there.

In fact, he was quite happy when I called him to ask if he could drive me there, and even more so when I told him what I was going to do in school at such an hour. Deidara just had to start telling me about the time his class had done something similar once, and that they actually had seen a ghost (just so you know, we're, incredibly enough, going ghost hunting) in one of the corridors.

I don't believe him though, and I doubt I ever will if I don't get to see a ghost with my very own eyes; it's alright for me to get a little scared thinking of monsters and ghosts and such, but I don't think they exist.

The moment I hear a car stop in our driveway, I slide my bag-pack onto my right shoulder, and I lift a bag up into my left hand (it's stuffed with my pillow, quilt and a small blanket, no sleeping bag because Deidara told me it'd be alright without one). The trip to the front door doesn't take too long, and by the time I have my jacket on, Deidara is already standing next to me in the small room, smirking smugly.

He kisses my cheek and ruffles my hair before he finally decides to pick up my bag and walk out of the door. I can merely smile after him and shake my head slightly. I follow him with my bag on my back, closing the door behind me as I leave the house. My grandmother is smiling at me from the kitchen window, and I return it with a small wave of my hand.

--------

"I called your teach', yeah." Deidara says half way through or trip. It's been silent ever since I got into the car ten minutes ago, and it seems he's sick of it already; I, myself, can go many hours without talking. I raise my brow at his statement though. Why did he know her number? Even I didn't have that.

"Do I want to know how you got that…?" I ask, very well aware of the fact that my voice was more than uncertain when I just said that, but that'll just add more effect to my words.

He smiles nervously, but it seems to be forced. "Probably not, darling."

I freeze.

He hasn't… he seriously hasn't done anything with that hag… right?

Laughter suddenly fills the car, and I stare at him in confusion. I really don't understand what's going on at the moment, but I doubt that has much to say, because Deidara is going to tell me anyway.

"You, my darling, should have seen your face moment ago!"

"Shut up and tell me what's so funny, Dei." I snarl, crossing my arms over my chest rather childishly. Unfortunately though, I don't realize how childish that, and my words, is before I've already done it, and now it's far too late to take it all back.

"She's just my aunt, yeah." He replies, grinning smugly. His eyes are full of amusement as he looks at me too, which only makes this worse.

"Eyes on the road, bastard!"

-------

Four of my classmates has already pulled out their sleeping bags and made it all ready when I enter our classroom along with Deidara. I was a little surprised earlier, when he told me that he was going to sleep over as well, because our teacher (Deidara's aunt) can't be with us during the night, and no one wants us to be here all alone.

Isabella smiles at me from her corner, where she's sitting with her laptop, most likely chatting with her boyfriend. I think that, if he didn't live far away, she would have brought him with her here tonight. We are allowed to take with us a single person each.

Deidara takes my hand and starts walking towards one of the empty corners. I tangle our fingers together, though I don't really notice it before he smirks at me. I blush lightly and look away from his face, making the girls in the room giggle.

Not long after, he has a huge, flat mattress on the floor. I stare at it, one of my eyebrows raised in something I can't really place. Deidara plugs it into one of the contacts, and presses a button on some kind of device on the thing. The sound of a vacuum cleaner fills the room (only in a much softer and quieter way) and air begins to fill the flat mat. In less than three minutes, the thing is like a bed, in fact, it's a double bed, and I now understand why I didn't have to bring a sleeping bag; he wants me to sleep with him on it.

Of course I don't mind it, but when was the last time we slept together on a bed? And in all honesty, I don't have any pajamas with me, nor am I considering sleeping with my t-shirt on (I have to wear it tomorrow after all!). That pretty much leaves me in my boxers… in the same bed as Deidara.

I can't help but to blush lightly at the thought, but, as stated, I don't mind it at all. Besides, he probably has his own pillow and such, so it won't be much of a problem.

Eugh, why is the thought of us not sleeping under the same quilt making me feel really disappointed?

"Sasori, yeah, did you bring that blanket?" He asks as he tilts his head, probably because of my slightly flushed face. Deidara grins right after though, so I think he figured why I was red.

I nod and open my bag. Pulling out both my pillow and the quilt, I find the blanket and hand it to him. I sit down on one of the chairs as I watch him place the blanket over the rough material of the mattress, and then a sheet over that again. He takes a step back, eyeing his work as I stand as well. Without waiting for him to see if he's forgotten anything, I place my quilt and pillow on it before I follow right behind, landing on the bed.

It's quite comfortable, so I doubt I'll have any trouble falling asleep on it, and if he decides to hold around me (which I will make him do even if he doesn't want to), it'll be even better.

Deidara lies down next to me and smiles when our eyes meet; I let my lips curve as well. By now, I really want to cuddle up and kiss him gently. I know he wants to too, but neither of us moves an inch, so we're left staring into each other's eyes quite passionately. Unfortunately our spell is broken as a third body decides to drop down between us. I blink and almost growl in irritation as I realize that it's Kankuro.

"Hey, Sasori!" He says happily as he smiles brightly at me. I return it, though only barely.

I really don't understand what he's doing here; I know that Deidara is here because his aunt wants him to be with us during the night, but Kankuro…? I didn't even know anyone in my class knows him, and I'm even more surprised by the fact that whoever invited him. I hear a small grunt from the other side of my cousin, and my smile widen ever so slightly; Deidara isn't too happy about this either.

"What are you doing here, yeah, better yet, what the hell are you doing in MY bed?" He growls, and I just know he's glaring holes into the back of Kankuro's head.

Too bad looks can't kill.

… not that I want him dead or anything!

I'm merely saying that I want him to leave me, us, alone for once; it's been a little better since that incident in the shower, but recently he's become a lot more active.

"Well excuse me, blondie, for wanting to talk with my cousin." My brown haired cousin replies smoothly, the voice he's using almost daring Deidara to speak up again.

He doesn't need to though, and a second or so later, Kankuro is lying on the floor by the foot of the bed, where he belongs… or so I can hope.

About fifteen minutes later, we're all standing in the kitchen, making taco. Personally, I'm not a very big fan of the food, but most people in my class is, so I have no say in it at all. I did, however, get to select what types of soda, and I picked my favourite ones (something anyone will do); Sprite, Coke and Solo. There's two other types as well, but I haven't even taken a look at the bottles, nor do I plan to do so either.

I quickly (and a little skillfully) cut the cucumber into small squares before I lift them into a bowl. It's done as quickly as I started, and therefore I'm without something to do for a little while. I walk over to Isabella and lean against the count as I watch her fry meat on the stove. It's not exactly interesting, but it gives me something to do, and I really need that to not get bored right now.

"You two together now, Sasori?" She suddenly asks, catching me a little off guard; it takes me a second to even figure out that she's talking about Deidara and I, and when I do, I stick my tongue out at her childishly, looking around to make sure he isn't anywhere close by.

"No, I told you it wouldn't happen anything before Christmas, didn't I?"

She nods slightly. "Still though, you two always send each other long glances, Deidara keeps checking you out, and when you were on the bed earlier, it was obvious that you both wanted to move closer to each other. I don't see why you're not calling of the deal and take him as your own while you still can."

"What do you mean?"

Isabella pauses and looks from the meat to me for a second, rolling her eyes so I can understand that it should be really obvious.

"That there's two types of love; one that will fade over time, and one that lasts forever. If nothing happens for a good while, one of you can end up losing interest."

I haven't even thought of that before, but now that she says it, I understand how true it really is. What if Deidara loses his interest for me, or me for him? I don't want that to happen, and least not anytime soon.

------

"Ah, oh d-don't stop!" I moan loudly into his ear, holding him tighter against myself as he continues moving into me.

I'd never expected for myself to end up doing it on the bathroom floor. It does seem that Deidara and I can't have sex in a bed though, but that may be because we never have a bed around to use, no? Because if there's no bed around, one has to make the most out of it.

His hands are running over my body, caressing my thighs, sides and ass as we share a long kiss, tongues moving against each other. I pull back for air, gasping and writhing under Deidara. My back arches off the floor and a -quite- loud cry escapes me.

The tacos are probably already finished (it's most likely been two hours or so since we started this) and I'm sure they're all waiting for us to return, but I can't find myself caring; I don't want Deidara to stop, and I really don't want it to end.

I'm going to come soon though.

I feel Deidara's fingers on me and I moan, throwing my head back as he thrusts into me the same time as his fingers glides over the shaft and head. Then it's suddenly all over, leaving us both exhausted and panting on the floor, sweaty and trembling too.

"One time thing, right, yeah?" Deidara asks, effectively breaking the silence between us.

I nod. "Until Christmas, yes."

"Why?"

"I didn't want you to get sick of waiting."

"I wouldn't ever get sick of waiting."

"You don't know that, Deidara."

"I do, yeah."

I pause and look up at him as he leans down. We share a short and gentle kiss.

"How can you though?"

"Because it's worth waiting for you, darling."

--------

We were supposed to be watching a movie now, but because Isabella doesn't like horror, I went with her back to the classroom. I lie down on the bed, my face hidden in my pillow. Isabella sits down next to me, grinning lazily.

"You don't have to be so shy about it; it's a good thing!"

"Of course it is, I just didn't think everyone of you would hear." I say and turn my head so I'm actually looking at her.

"Sasori, you did it in the bathroom, of course we would hear." She states simply, her grin still intact.

"I can't believe Deidara's acting so smug about it."

"It's obvious why though, Sori; he got to do you without any begging, and Kankuro heard you screaming his name in pleasure."

I blush and hide my face in the pillow once again. This time I also realize it's his pillow, which is probably why it smells so good and soothing. "I did not scream his name, Isabella."

"Did too."

"I don't want to argue with you." I state, an expression of boredom crossing my features… I think.

"Then just agree."

"Never."

"Then who was it?" A male voice suddenly asks, and both Isabella and I turn to see who it is; Kankuro. Great, exactly the boy I didn't want around right now.

"Me." I reply simply as I sit up and turn to look at him properly. I see his face turn even more serious than it was seconds ago. Surly this can't lead to anything good, right?

"Why the hell did you let that guy fuck you anyway?!" He suddenly snaps, catching both Isabella and I off guard.

"Obviously because I like him!" I snap back. My voice holds a softer tone, but I'm getting really irritated with him now, so I don't know how I'll be able to lower my voice even more.

"You don't even know him, Sasori!"

"And you do?!"

"More than you at least! Do you even know how he stares at you all the time, it's disgusting!"

I growl and stand up. I'm still shorter than my cousin, but I give him a punch right in the face anyway, and he stumbles backwards in shock.

"I don't care what you think about Deidara, Kankuro; you're jealous, and I'm old enough to choose for myself. I'm not a child; I don't need a babysitter."

Kankuro doesn't reply, merely stares at me with wide eyes that holds hurt and disbelief. I do care that I hurt him, but he needed to hear it, or he will never stop trying to beat Deidara. Besides, he really should find himself someone that likes him back, and not fight for one that obviously won't turn to him instead.

I'm not saying that he shouldn't have fought for me, but after a couple of tries, he should've taken the hint and stopped.

"Find someone that likes you back, Kankuro."

--------

"Two more months, yeah." Deidara whispers into my ear. I can practically feel the smile dancing on his lips, and I have to smile myself.

We're lying under our quilts on his mattress. Despite this though, I'm lying quite close to him; my back is against his chest, his arm wrapped around my waist and his other is tangled up with mine. My knees are pulled up slightly, and so are his.

It's pretty late, but I doubt anyone is sleeping yet.


	22. Chapter 22

I wake up the next day as a pair of lips meets my forehead. My eyelids flutter open and Deidara's face comes into view. He smiles at me and I return it without any hesitation, though I believe it is looking quite sleepily, because his smile widens and he tells me how cute I am.

"I've got work in less than fifteen minutes, so I'll come back around to pick you up later, alright, yeah?"

I nod, and he gives my forehead yet another kiss. We're not supposed to be so lovey-dovey, but I don't exactly mind it at the moment, besides, I still don't want his feelings for me to fade away while he's waiting for Christmas. I have to admit I want the holiday to come quickly as well, because I don't ever want to lose my interest and love for him. Deidara stands and ruffles my hair before he turns and leaves the room. I realize that he hasn't taken the bed with him and I curse him once; I have to clean up after the both of us.

Right now I'm not seeing this as anything huge though, and I'm far from bitter about it. Besides, if I put the mattress away later, we can use it to relax or something.

I sigh and get up a few minutes later; walking out into the corridor with clothes and other things I need to get ready for school. I round a corner and enter the second door to my right. In front of me is another two doors, both leading to toilets. To my left is a mirror, which I turn to almost immediately.

I run my right hand through my hair several times before I find it looking good enough. I never bother to really do anything about my hair other than cut it when it becomes too long. Deidara (and some of my friends) tells me that it looks good no matter what anyway, and he even told me it would be cool if I spared some of it for a little while, so it at least became a little longer than now. If I remember it right, I bluntly told him no, and left the car.

It didn't take too long for me to get out of what I'd slept in, and into new clothes (which Deidara picked out for me yesterday… and I swear I won't let him close to my closet again), that being a white tank top, a dark gray jacket over (he told me not to zip it up, so I'm actually going to listen to that) and loose, blue jeans. I'm not really feeling very comfortable in these clothes, but it isn't that bad, and if I just get used to them, I bet I can wear things like this much more often.

I enter the classroom again as everyone else begins to wake up. I don't pay any attention to them though, as I head straight for the bed Deidara left behind for me to clean up. I open the small hatch in it, and all of the air begins to fleet out of the mattress.

"Is he any good?"

I turn to see Sakura sit down next to me, smiling lightly. I usually don't talk to her at all, but now that she's come all the way off the throne to talk with me, I guess I can't disappoint her. A bit embarrassing that I can't understand her question though…

"What?"

"Is he any good? Deidara, that is." She repeats.

This time I understand her perfectly well and I feel my cheeks heat up; they really did hear us. I bet rumors are going to be flying throughout school for the rest of the year now, which is something I don't want. Not that I don't want anyone to know that we're `together´ or anything, it's just that… we had sex in the bathroom, the school's bathroom none the less.

"I don't think that's any of your business." I reply bluntly. After all, I don't want this to be spread around. At my words, the rest of my class gathers around me though, and I can pretty much say I'll die from all of this pressure.

"Come on, Sori, tell us; you're gay, we're girls, you can talk to us about this." Isabella says, but her words doesn't do anything for me.

I mean, just because I'm gay… I can't just share how my sex with Deidara is just because I'm gay and they're girls, right? Because if I don't want anyone to know, then I don't want anyone to know, and I can just keep my mouth shut about it.

"It's good." I say, surprising myself. Then again, when I think about it, telling them won't be that bad; I'll have someone to share it with, because there's no way I'll sit down in Deidara's lap and tell him about how good I feel when we have sex. No way.

"Define `good´." Sakura demands as she grins in victory. I groan and blush even more; girls always wants to know the details of such stuff.

"He's gentle, caring and such, but at the same time it's… it's hard to explain"

--------

As Deidara promised me earlier this day, he comes driving into the schoolyard in his car just about the time I finish my last lesson and walk out of the science classroom. I can see both the car and him outside of the window, and I pick up my speed as I walk through the corridor, towards the exit, with my schoolbag, another bag with pillows and quilts, and yet another bag, though this one is for Deidara's mattress.

I took my sweet time packing it all down during lunch, as well as I scanned the room for any other things that could be the blond's. I found nothing though, so the packing was done within the start of our third lesson for the day.

I somehow manage to open the door - with all of those bags in my arms - and step outside. The weather is cold, and I immediately find myself wanting to go back inside. I don't, though, because a small walk over to Deidara's car will be nothing, and just the thought of it being his car makes me want to run over there. I don't do that either though, seeing as that will look rather stupid.

Steps are coming my way, and I look up to greet whoever it is; Deidara.

He kisses my cheek and takes the two heaviest bags from me, an action that I'm rather happy of, before he motions for me to follow him back to the car, which I do all too happily.

It's first now though, that I realize what he did just now, and the shock and surprise just washes over me. I almost stop walking, but I manage to take a hold of myself and continue moving my feet. Deidara just kissed my cheek… he kissed my cheek when he knows we're on a `break´.

Does this mean he thinks we're back together again? Didn't I explain to him that it was just to let out some steam and tenseness? Okay, so maybe I didn't… damn it. I don't want to ruin it all for him now; he looks so happy where he walks, smiling and looking back at me now and then just to make sure that I'm still following.

We both climb into the car, and Deidara presses the gas down slightly, making the car roll forwards. Within a minute, we're driving out of the city and back towards our street, which is still too far away for my liking.

10 minutes passes by quickly as we listen to the radio and speak with each other. I have, for some reason, told him about my classmates wanting to know how our sex was like.

"What did you say, yeah?" He asks me as his lips curve up into his usual grin.

I feel my cheeks grow warm and I look out of the window, which I often do when I'm a little embarrassed; it's so that Deidara won't see my blush. "I didn't tell them anything." I reply simply. I hope that he will buy my little, sweet lie, but I know he won't.

"Right; you always blush when you lie to me about this kind of stuff." He retorts, turning to look at me as I do the same, which causes our eyes to meet.

I see his grin fade, and suddenly he pulls over on the side of the road and kills the engine. I send him an expression of confusion, and I have to admit that when he doesn't reply, I become a little worried for him. I know though, that there's either something bothering him, or he has to tell me something really important.

"What's wrong, Deidara?"

"Nothing is wrong." He replied after a few seconds of silence, making it obvious to me that he's trying to come up with a way to do… whatever he's going to do; even though I know Deidara very well now, he can still be quite unpredictable.

"Then what's up?" I ask and turn slightly in my seat, so that I'm facing him properly; it's much easier to sit like this too, and my neck won't turn so stiff from keeping it turned.

"I don't really know how to say it…" He begins. I don't interrupt, I don't say anything, just wait for him to continue. "I know you wanted to wait until Christmas, but honestly, Sasori, I don't think I can wait that long, yeah."

"B-but-" I start, he silences me though, by placing a finger over my lips. It's warm and soft, just like every other piece of flesh on Deidara.

"Just listen to me for a bit, okay?"

I nod, staring at him with a slightly tilted head.

"I like you, and even though I can't say that I love you yet, I want to be with you now; we've been through a lot these last months, and we've got to know each other even better, but Sasori, I don't care who you used to be, because that time is over, and it's this you that I like, yeah; I know this you perfectly well, and you know that, because it's the same with you."

There's a long silence, in which we just stare at each other. I'm not sure what to say, and I know he doesn't know what to say next either. So when he speaks again, it's much of a surprise for the both of us:

"Sasori, please be my boyfriend, yeah."

I can only smile and lean over to give him a kiss.


End file.
